Slayers Storm
by Mahou Shoujo Crystalic Katomi
Summary: A one-shot/drabble series involving both Slayers and Storm Hawks in various instances, some very hilarious
1. Introduction

_**Slayers Storm**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers. If I did own both, it would make an awesome show.

_**Introduction**_

"Hi, I'm Xelloss!"

"And I'm Arygyn!"

"And we're here to introduce you to Slayers Storm!" Both Skeelur and Trickster posed in flamboyant ways.

"In case you're wondering what Slayers Storm is," Arygyn said as he broke the fourth wall, "It is a drabble/one-shot series that combines both Slayers and Storm Hawks into one big crossover."

"That's right, Arygyn," Xelloss replied, "In order to focus on her other stories that don't involve me or the other Slayers, the authoress has created this to explore her ideas of a Slayers/Storm Hawks universe. Some of these will be connected, some aren't, and the rest… Well, that is a secret." He then wagged his trademark finger.

Arygyn smirked. "And since we're from both shows, we're hosting this intro-!"

"HOLD IT!"

Both of them stopped and looked over at whoever yelled that. Not oddly enough, it was Lina Inverse. "Why are you guys hosting this thing? Aren't you forgetting someone in all this?"

The two both paused and thought about it, before Arygyn answered her question. "Well, we tried getting that Wizer fellow to get in on the act. But he sounded busy with figuring out a way to frame you."

Lina slapped her head at both his unawareness and making a joke about the question. "I meant me! I'm the main character in one of the shows! Why wasn't I been considered to host the introduction in the first place?"

"Because you'll probably hog all the attention," said a mysterious voice as the three now turned to see Master Cyclonis, the big bad boss of Storm Hawks. "Knowing you, you'll probably bash your co-host and steal the spotlight for yourself. That and the authoress thought you weren't host material."

"What?" Lina glared at Cyclonis, who by now had started to walk away in order to do other things. Furiously, the sorceress began to give chase. "Hey! Hey! Don't you dare walk away! I'm not finish!"

Just near the chase, Gourry was speaking with Aerrow and luckily, he was doing a good job of not saying anything stupid. "Wow, so you guys can fly all the time on your world without magic?"

"Yea, though it's not in the same method as the spells on your world," Aerrow said to Gourry, "We have to ride on vehicles called skimmers that are powered by crystals."

"Skimmer, huh?" Gourry muttered while thinking about something else. "So… You ride on bugs?" The sky knight looked over at Radarr who was sitting on his shoulder. The co-pilot shrugged. He didn't know how to respond to that either.

Meanwhile, Amelia was with Finn, who was in all-out-flirt mode. "So… You're a princess, huh? You know if you don't already have a prince, I'll be one."

Strangely enough, she wasn't offended by his offer. "Why, thank you for the proposal," she said while smiling. "But I kinda have someone that I already like." That definitely shattered the sharp-shooter's coolness.

"What? You're already married?" Yes, he got information on how royalty courted from Fairy Tales and Disney movies. Strange how they only mentioned get together and wedding and not the stuff that happened in between.

"Well, we're not exactly married…" Amelia then held up a picture of Zelgadis. "But he is nice and his skin looks cool." Finn just stared at the picture, not sure of what to make of it.

"… Okay, I'm not going to judge if you're into that kind of stuff, okay?" Amelia sweatdropped. She thought that Finn might have been thinking the wrong kind of relationship with her Chimera friend.

Piper suddenly walked over and gave the sharpshooter a harsh look. "Finn, I think she's into his character, something that you lack."

Finn looked at her and replied, "Hey, I have plenty of character! And at least I'm trying! You still didn't tell Aerrow that you have a crush on him." Piper instantly blush bright red. How does he always find a way to rile her up?

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Stop! Friends shouldn't fight!" Amelia shouted, going into full justice mode, "Friends should stand together against the forces of evil and injustice!" She soon rambled on about peace, love, and virtue, leaving both Piper and Finn dumbfounded. They didn't get why she would start a speech over them fighting.

"… Something tells me Amelia is giving a speech at this moment," Zelgadis said before drinking his coffee. He then looked over at Stork who wasn't going to have coffee because of the caffeine in it. (He says that caffeine attracts mind worms.) "I can't believe how I am still traveling with them."

"Yea… From what you told me, I'm surprised that you're even alive." The merb took a sip of his pure germ-free water. "Of course, they're still not as irritating as my own team mates."

"What makes you say tha-?" Before Zel could finish his sentence, an explosion was heard from behind the two. They quickly turned to see Junko walking out of a room, covered in soot.

The wallop coughed before apologizing, "Sorry, Stork. I think I broke special Auto-monoti-something thingie." He then held what used to be Stork's special gadget. The merb looked back at Zelgadis with a face that said, _"One of these days…"_

Now back with Lina and Cyclonis, the sorceress finally caught up with the empress brat and giving her the torment of her life. However, Cyclonis wasn't fazed by Lina's torment, even if the headlock she was in was a little tight.

"Say it!"

"No."

"Say it!"

"No."

"Say I'm host material!"

"You're not."

Meanwhile, the three Cyclonian commanders were watching the commotion with freaked-out faces. The never seen a sight like this; Master Cyclonis being torture by someone her own size (or a little bit bigger). Anyway, they were watching and staying out of the mess until Ravess suggested, "Brother dear, do you think you should try to break them up and rescue Cyclonis?"

Snipe looked at his sister before looking back at the mess. Afterwards, he looked back at his sister, answering, "No way, I think that redhead has cooties."

"… Don't you mean rabies, Snipe?" Dark Ace was examining the fight a little more and he noticed that the sorceress was a bit crazy to be any normal being.

Snipe looked at the Dark Ace with a clarification look on his face. "No, it's cooties. It's like girls' rabies." The black-haired man slapped his face. As much as he would like to explain to the idiot how wrong he was, he had better things to do. Bravely, he walked over to the fight, ready for anything that could happen.

Once there, he looked at Master Cyclonis with his usually smug face. "Need any help, Master Cyclonis?" She looked back at him with her own usually face, the _"I don't care"_ one.

"No thank you. This is actually quite relaxing." Even though it hurt her a lot, she was trying to hide the pain from being in that position. "Besides, I think she'll tired herself out before she realizes that she is not cute."

"NOT CUTE!" Lina threw Cyclonis at the Dark Ace and prepared herself for a speech about herself. "Look at this! These cute eyes!" She fluttered her eyes. "This sweet smile!" She smiled her trademark smile. "This delightful personality!" Okay, maybe that's a bit too far. "I am the model of cute and appealing! Now, I ask you what you think is non-appealing about me?" This time, everyone stared at her in awkward silence, not sure of what to answer. Luckily or unluckily, Gourry didn't know the meaning of the word "rhetorical".

"You're flat?"

There were murmurs of agreements from the others, raising Lina's rage meter up to dangerous levels. She was now in Overdrive mode and that meant bad things. Good thing the actual hosts were at a safe distance or else this could get messy.

"_FIREBALL! FIREBALL! FIREBALL! FIREBALL! __**DRAGON SLAVE!**_"

Both Arygyn and Xelloss watched the carnage from Lina's spell barrage. From their point of view, they saw a bunch of explosions with a very nice mushroom cloud at the very end. Turning back to the audience, Xelloss said, "Well, sorry for that folks. We hope you'll enjoy the rest of what's to come."

"Indeed, we are already up to five stories, including this one. So, hope you'll have a good day now. Be glad that Lina hasn't set you on fire!" Arygyn added. And so, the two hosts waved good-bye ending off this introduction.

* * *

Authors Notes:

Yes, in order to keep me on track, I am doing a drabble/one-shot series crossover on Slayers and Storm Hawks. Again, I really want to see these two come together in some epic story plot. But since I already have another epic story plot coming (and I have too many ideas for this to make one coherent story), I'm turning this into a non-linear drabble series. Besides, I think it's high time that I made one, right?

This following rant is old, but it's kinda needed. Why do I think these series go together you may ask? Well, for starters, if you watch the two series more closely, you can notice a few elements that are common for both Storm Hawks and Slayers. In fact, Atmos could be like one of the four worlds that L-sama created; leaning towards Death Fog's. Also, think of the majority of pairings that the two series combine can make. For example, there could be a Harrier/Syphiel and a Snipe/Naga.

Also, with this offer, you'll be getting two new stories along with _**Never Cross a Sorceress **_and _**The Debate**_. They'll be in-between so you'll be able to get them. And plenty more will be coming soon.

So, Please Read and Review!


	2. Never Cross a Sorceress

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or Storm Hawks. All characters, settings, ideas, and concepts belong to their respective owners.

_**Never Cross a Sorceress**_

It was any normal day for any Talon grunt, but for Chicken Feathers (though his real name was unknown), it was the day he'll finally get some recognition and praise. The scouts had found a mountain load of treasure on some distance terra and if he was credited for bring it back to Cyclonia, Cyclonis would definitely give him the promotion he had waited for. As yes, this was absolutely his day.

Once their Destroyer had landed, the lieutenant along with several other lowly-paid soldiers to where the treasure laid. There gold, crystals, diamonds, pearls, a number of worthy items that could make any man retired to an early life. The leader smirked as the others started to grab the loot. It seemed to be going perfectly before _she _came along.

"HEY! What do you think you are doing?" yelled a very loud and annoying voice, which caused everyone to look up. Standing on top of the gold was a short, thin girl with long, untamed hair and red eyes that could possible killed a something if they stared at it long enough. The most notable thing about her was the strange clothes she was wearing. It looked like she was on her way to a costume ball. Who else would be caught dead in those rags?

Anyway, the girl glared at them and shouted, "That is our gold! We found it first!" The Talons blinked in confusion; did she just used plural pronouns? Suddenly, there appeared a man much taller than the girl, with long, blonde hair which the bangs covered his right eye, which both were blue. He also wore strange garments, especially the black armor on his chest, shoulders, and thighs. By the look on his face, he didn't seem that smart, which was good since the smaller grunts didn't want to be in a fight.

"Lina, where are we? I thought we were going to that new restaurant for lunch." he complained, looking very hungry. The red-head looked at the man before she started to argue with him. As they fought, Chicken Feathers just blinked, before looking over at the other soldiers. They were expecting him to do something, anything would have been better than standing around like imbeciles. So, he looked back at the two and gulped.

"… Ex-Excuse me," he began, before the couple looked over at him, "But, who are you and what are you doing here?" They stopped fighting (Well, by now, it was her strangling him), and looked over at him. There was an awkward silence as they now realized who had been watching. Now, this was embarrassing.

"My name is Lina Inverse; sorceress genius and supreme beauty," she introduced herself, causing the army groan. She wasn't a beauty, that's for sure. They instantly went silent by the glare. Then, she introduced her partner, "And this is Gourry, the more… mentally-challenged of my other half." The man just waved, causing the audience to sweatdropped. Compared to them, these two wouldn't last a minute with the Storm Hawks.

"… Well, Miss Lina," the lieutenant started, "We found this treasure first. So... Finder keepers, losers weepers." Now, there were several things wrong with that statement. If any of them knew who she really was, they would have gladly given her the entire fortune.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to share that treasure with us? You can give us ninety-nine percent of it, please?" she pleaded, showing her puppy-dog eyes in innocence. The army just sweatdropped even more; that was way too much for the two. It would have left the Talons with dog scraps.

Chicken Feathers thought that it was now time to step up and retorted, "Look, missy! Cyclonians don't share what they had found! Especially with a little kid who looks like a stick figure!" If he had noticed the girl, he won't have seen her grinding her teeth at being called that. "Now, move along, you two. Go back to your costume party."

The grunts went back to work, not noticing the fiery aura around Lina. Her big, dumb lacky noticed and blinked. He had gotten pretty good at reading the red-head's language when she wasn't speaking during the years traveling together; she was pretty much like an open book. So, he asked, "Hey, Lina, are you mad?"

The sorceress took a deep breath before answering, "Oh, I don't get mad. I get even."

* * *

With the treasure loaded, the Destroyer took off, with all the gold and jewels onboard. Chicken Feathers smirked, now having the very thing that would make him famous. He was now imaging Cyclonis rewarding him and now having the starring role in the movie chronicling the rise of the Empire. He was about to rescue his comrades from the evil sky knights until reality hit him again.

"Ummm… Sir," a lowly grunt interrupted the lieutenant's day dream, "That girl who the treasure is now chanting something." All the talons looked outside seeing that the first person to observe was right. The red-haired girl was chanting something strange while gathering some red energy around her. But whatever she was doing, they didn't care. They were on one of the most indestructible ships in the Atmos.

However, they soon change their tune when she yelled out, "_**DRAGON SLAVE!**_" The sorceress soon fired the blast she had gathered at the ship, which exploded on impact. The Talons didn't have time to evacuate and soon, they were falling out of the sky with their parachutes, charred and all. Chicken Feathers was now depressed; how was he going to explain lost treasure and a destroyed ship to the Master now.

"Hehehe, that's what you get for messing with Lina Inverse," the girl said, as she dusted her hands off. The two admired her handy work on the floating airship as it fell to the ground. It was only a few moments later that Gourry remembered something.

"Hey, Lina, that treasure was on there, right?" he asked, causing the red head to nod in triumph. However, she soon cracked, realizing what she had done. All that treasure gone; the Lord of Nightmares must have been having a field day with this.

Now on this day, the Cyclonians learned a valuable lesson: Never Cross a Sorceress, especially one of little figure.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Yea, it was kinda short on characters for a crossover. Don't worry, there's more after this!

Anyway, please read and review!


	3. Dumb Nicknames

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Dumb Nicknames**_

"Lina…"

"Ne, ugh…"

"Liiina…"

"No, mommy, I don't want to play Luna's death game…"

"… Hey, Lina, I found a restaurant with pre-made Dragon Cuisine!"

"MINE!" yelled a waking-Lina as she looked around for that specific restaurant. Only, she didn't find the restaurant. In fact, she didn't find any place that had food or to be more specific, no buildings at all. The two were still stuck on that landmass with no way of getting down. They did try once, but the bottom was full of lava and big serpents that were scared of her.

The sorceress then looked over at her partner with a glare that could kill. "Gourry… Exactly why did you wake me up from my beauty sleep?"

"Well…" Gourry said while rubbing the back of his head, "You know those people you blew up yesterday?" She nodded, not wanting to remember how she lost that ton of treasure. "Well… I think they brought friends this time."

She blinked and looked around to see that her partner was right for once. The people that had taken her free loot were back with a lot more soldiers than before. This time, they were surrounding the two, armed to the teeth with crystal staves. Lina didn't take much into the situation other than the fact that this meant war.

Breaking from the ranks of the soldiers, the same guy who had denied the treasure stepped forward, glaring with the intensity of a thousand suns. This time, he was covered in bandages from her last attack. And by the look on his face, he wasn't too thrilled about receiving it.

"Alright, you demonic fiend girl! You may have caught me off guard last time. But now, I have you surrounded with an army. So, you better surrender yourself now or else we'll do it the hard way!" Lina just stared with a non-amused face at him.

"Look, if you're blaming me for destroying your ship and the treasure in the first place, it's your damn fault for taking it from me in the first place!" she yelled back, raising her fist in the air. Though it didn't calm down the guy who was in charge of this confrontation, some of the Talons who had been there started to murmur among themselves.

"…It's kinda true, sir," a brave grunt said in a low voice. The man turned to glare at him, causing the others to be scared stiff. This was definitely a side of him that they have never seen before.

"Would you just point your staves at them and fire when I say so!" The Talons quickly went back to the same position as before. This time, Lina was prepared for any attack they through at her. However, Gourry was confused by who was attacking Lina.

"Hey, Lina, who's that guy?" the blonde said, as he pointed up at the leader. The tension suddenly broke as everyone went dumbfounded. They were going into a big epic battle, and he was worried about who was challenging them?

Lina was about to give Gourry a beating before she realized that too. "Oh yea, he really didn't give out his name if I remember correctly." She then turned to the guy and called, "Hey! Can you tell us who you are before we get this going?" The man growled before coming up with a brilliant idea. If he was going to be some big hotshot, he might as well test out his "name" to get publicity.

"Well, if you must know, I am one of the top commanders of the Cyclonian fleet. I have already conquered a few terras around here and have defeated many sky knights. I run the strictest shift and I am an all-round bad guy!" Both sorceress and swordsman sweatdropped at the long introduction. "I am-"

"Commander Chicken Feathers."

Commander Chicken Feathers froze as laughter sounded throughout the group. His own presentation foiled by his own men. He turned to them and complained, "Hey! Why did you do that? I had my new nickname up and ready!"

"Well, that is your official "name". After all, Ravess did give it to you after your fight with those chickens." Chicken Feathers fumed, remembering the situation. And as much as he would like to forget about it, said-situation still came up.

"Well, I am telling you not call me by that until I have a better one! Besides, you know what my real name is. It's-!"

"_DIL BRAND!_"

Before he could finish, the entire battalion was blown up by Lina's spell, leaving nothing more than burnt up bodies. Once brushing her hands, she left with Gourry following after her. And like always, he felt a little empathy for the bad guys. "Hey, don't you think it's a little mean to blow him up without learning his real name?"

"Gourry, at this point, I don't care what he wants to be called. Nothing can save him from being called "Chicken Feathers"."

And that was another failed attempt by the Talons to defeat Lina Inverse.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Yea, think of this as a prelude to an upcoming joke in the next chapter. It's going to include more torture on Chicken Feathers. I can't believe how easy he is as a insult target.

Please Read and Review!


	4. Chicken What

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers

_**Chicken What?**_

Next day, both Lina and Gourry were in the same situation as yesterday. This time, there were _a lot_more Talons than before, probably more than they could have handle. However, this wasn't going to make the sorceress and swordsman surrender so easily. This being more so when the same guy from yesterday popped up.

"Alright! I'm tired of you blowing me up! So, better surrender or we'll really exterminate you two!" Commander Chicken Feathers yelled, shaking his fist in the air. Lina sighed with disappointment. Why was she the only one who gets the crazy bad guys? Meanwhile, Gourry was trying to figure out something.

"Hey, Lina, who's that guy again?"

Lina, Commander Chicken Feathers, and the entire army almost facefaulted when the blonde swordsman asked that. Since this isn't the first time that this has happened, Lina took it upon herself to "help" him out. "Gourry, you jellyfish brains! This guy told us his name yesterday! How can you forget about him just like that?"

He continued to think about it, making Chicken Feathers very confused. Didn't he already explain who he was in a big speech yesterday? How could this guy forget about that? Was he really as stupid as Snipe?

"Well, since you put it that way, maybe I can remember it." Gourry then ponder about the Talon Commander's named, leaving Lina irritated. She was about to answer him, until he interrupted, "Just let me think, Lina. I can't always depend on you everytime I forget something." During this, everyone including the Talons was waiting impatiently for him to remember. A while later, he came to the conclusion of the name problem. "I got it! Chicken Feet!"

Everyone facefaulted again from the sheer stupidity of that. Lina looked up and said, "You're only half right, Gourry."

"Really?" The swordsman blinked before thinking again. "… Then, Chicken Heart?"

"No."

"Chicken Beak?"

"No."

"Chicken Butt?"

"Bad joke, and no."

"Chicken Breast?"

"No."

"Chicken Wings?"

"Wrong."

"Chicken A La Mode?"

"He's named after an animal part, not food! So, stop making me hungry!"

While Gourry was still trying to remember, Commander Chicken Feathers decided to call a temporary retreat. The Talons were very confused by this turn of events, especially since he was so determine to capture them. Since curiosity was sometimes a good thing, one of them asked, "Um, sir, why are we retreating?"

Chicken Feathers looked over at him and the others with a tired face. "Because once she's done beating him, she'll come after me next for having a stupid name in the first place."

* * *

Author's Notes:

And this ends the three-part drabble. Poor Chicken Feathers, he learned the hard way about how deep Gourry's head is. Strangely enough, I considered him to be the classic Stalker bad guy like Martina and others are. You know the kind that can really annoy her to no end.

Anyway, that's it for the new stories, there's going to be one more after this, and it's an old one.

Please Read and Review!


	5. The Debate

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks, Slayers, or the South Park episode that this is based on.

_**The Debate**_

In a generic home town during generic high school hours, a debate class was just chatting and messing around before the actual class started. The substitute teacher for this class (since the regular teacher was on leave due to drinking problems) entered in and stood right behind her desk. She coughed in order to get their attention. But when that didn't work and the talking was getting on her nerves, she went with a more harsh method.

"_**BE QUIET!**_"

The class instantly shut up and stared at the teacher, who was smirking proudly. "Thank you." She then proceeded to write her name on the board. "As you all know, my name is Filia and I am the history teacher. However, due to… Zelas' fixations, I am now substituting for debate class." After she was finished with the introduction, there was still silence in the room. "… Now, I have been reviewing your debate topics and find them troubling." She then began to write those topics on the board. "_Lina Inverse v. endangered dragons_, _Lina Inverse v. small puppies_, _Lina Inverse v. the orphans_-"

"YEA! Why am I the bad guy in those debates?" shouted out the most dangerous person at school, Lina Inverse. And in case you couldn't tell, she was pretty mad at being the one who was always opposed.

"Because you're a selfish person with no honor," answered Harrier. _Twitch_.

"Because you're a dangerous and can destroy the entire world with your black magic," replied Stork. _Twitch twitch_.

"Because you're not as full-chested as the other girls here?" questioned Gourry Gabriev. _Urk! _And with that remark, Lina had her dim-witted boyfriend in a headlock.

The class just watched the torment of the blond before the teacher coughed again. "And as much as those could be true, I think debate should be about important issues of the community." That's when she took out papers from her briefcase. "So, I arrange a debate for you that will be due in a week. And to make it a good lesson on community and teamwork, I arrange the two sides and the teams that will be defending them." That caused the whole class to groan, with the exception of a hand being raised. "Yes, Dark Ace?"

The black-haired man (or teen in the story) coughed before asking, "If you are going to teach us about teamwork, then maybe you should set up an example between you and Mr. Xellos."

"Don't mention his name in my class!" Filia raged at the mention of her enemy. Yes, the dragon had issues with her colleague. The main reason was the fact that he was a Mazoku, the exact opposite of her kind. And even the mentioning of his name sends her into a fit of anger.

"Did someone call me?" Speaking of the devil, Xellos poked his head out of the class room. The sub turned her head to glare at him, flames marking her high rage meter. The students already experiencing this scenario a million times quickly put their desks in a barrier and quickly hid behind them.

Filia tried to calm herself down and asked the Mazoku, "What do you want now, Mr. Xellos?" She now remembered that she needed to show an example to her students. After all, she was the teacher for this class.

Xellos smirked his classic smirk before entering the door. "Well, Miss Filia, since I am the Sexual Educational teacher, I was wondering if someone could help me… "demonstrate" a little something." All the girls behind the desks vomited a little inside while Filia glared at him.

"There is no way I'm going to give one of my students to you for your sick fantasies!" She hoped that her response would get him out of here. But instead, he still stayed with that wise smirk.

"Why, Filia dear," he cooed, "There is no way I would do that to a young student." Then, he grabbed her hands in a romantic way. "I was thinking of you since you probably done it a few times."

The very unwell dragon quickly removed her hands, took out Mace-Sama (The school did believe in that old saying), and shot it straight at Xelloss. "_**OUT!**_" Luckily for him, the Mazoku teleported out of there before Mace-Sama hit. Unfortunately for the door, Mace-Sama left a huge hole in it.

The students quickly popped their heads up and looked at the teachers, some scared for their lives. A few seconds later, the teacher noticed their looks and went into being bashful about the whole ordeal. She fiddled with her hair while saying, "Well, you better start reading those papers."

The class instantly set back their desks up before reading their papers. For the first team, it was Lina, Gourry, Aerrow, Zelgaldis, Stork, Starling, Snipe, Cyclonis, and Sylphiel (Dang, a lot of S-names). For the second team, it was Dark Ace, Ravess, Amelia, Piper, Finn, Harrier, Junko, Martina, Zangulus, and Carver. Everyone was disappointed, especially Amelia. Not only would she be away from her friends, but she was in a crowd with some unruly characters.

After the groaning session was done, Filia decided to start class again. "Now, as you may notice, I haven't chosen the two leaders for each team. Well, I'm going to leave that up to you. If you want to be the debate leader, please raise your hand. Team One?" Both Gourry and Zelgadis raised their hands. "Good, Team One's leaders are Gourry Gabriev and Zelgadis Greywords. Now, team two?"

Suddenly, Amelia brimmed at the sound of that. Maybe if she was one of the debate leaders, she could steer them towards justice and victory. The righteousness in her was boiling as she raised her hand. Hopefully, she didn't raise her hand too late.

"Well, it seemed that Team Two's leaders are Dark Ace and Amelia," announced Filia, causing the blackette to open her eyes in shock. Did the teacher say that she was going to be with Dark Ace? She looked over at his desk to really confirm that he did raise his hand. He also looked at her with a nonchalant look, not wanting to be partners with her. All the happiness in her being leader was now gone. She was dead.

* * *

After school, the two debate teams went to the library to dig up sources for the topic. In order not to clash with each other (the students here can be violent and fights break out almost hourly), they had agreed to set up a line in the middle of the library to define the border between then. After that, the two teams went their separate ways, ready to tackle the project. And right now, Team Two was getting a pep talk from their team leader Amelia.

It wasn't anything new.

"Alright, team! Now, that we have this side of the library to ourselves, it is now time to dig deep into our righteous souls and find the justice in our subject! We must be vigilant in our duty to prove that our idea is for fairness and righteousness! For it is a just idea and we must defend it!"

There was silence amongst the group. No words could describe what they were feeling. Most of them seemed distance from the speech while Harrier was the only one jolting down notes from the speech (justice equals honor equals Code equals Harrier). The only one who probably appreciated the speech was the person who was clapping. And that person clapping was none other than the Dark Ace.

"Congratulations, Miss Amelia," he said, "Not only did you assume that we are the good guys, but you contradicted yourself by breaking the library's most important rule." She panicked when she had described what she had done. She didn't mean to break the "Be Quiet" rule. It was just that her daddy taught her that when doing a justice speech, it should be spoken with a full loud voice.

She just then shook it off since the debate was much more important. "So… Do any of you have ideas?" She had also learned that a good leader would always listen to his or hers teammates for suggestions. And since the assignment was about community and teamwork, she was sure to get everyone a good grade.

It was a few seconds later when Ravess decided to add in her two cents. "I think we should spy on our opponents to find ways to counter our arguments."

"… I don't think that's very justice-like," Amelia replied, a little bit worried about the suggested, "Besides, I don't think Zelgadis and the others have any arguments to counter anyway."

Ravess didn't say anything for a while, just glared at her. "Of course, I didn't mean now. I meant later before our debate." Then, she snobbily said, "It's just perfect strategy. Of course, you should probably know that if you were a _good_ leader."

The young girl started to panicked again when her teammate had said that. The first suggestion and she shot it down because she felt it was unjust. A good leader is always opened minded to all ideas. However, she then became shock when she heard the Dark Ace say, "Ravess, stop being pouty that she raised her hand up before you did… Though, we should keep in mind on that spying idea."

"I disagree on the spying part. Everyone knows that spying and cheating are against the school rules." Amelia sighed a breath of relief for Harrier's opinion. At least, there was someone who had agreed with her.

Actually, it was two people when Junko spoke, "I agree. It doesn't seem nice."

"Yea, yea…" Carver lay back in his chair. "And I guess that the other team isn't going to do that either and that the world is filled with sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns." Then, he sat up and looked at the group. "You guys do know that the other team probably thought of that too, right?"

Amelia sighed about the whole idea. It was because that it was righteous or not. It was because everyone seemed to be getting overly excited over the subject. Before a riot (possible one-sided) could break out, she spoke worrisomely, "Ummm, maybe we should forget about the spying. Anyone else has any other suggestions?"

It was a while before Martina shouted at the top of her lungs. "I say we should all make a sacrifice to Lord Zoamelgustav for victory against Line Inverse and her cronies!" Everyone stared at her with complete silence. They all knew that was a stupid idea.

Dark Ace coughed before looking at the group. "All in favor of not sacrificing something to Zoamelgustav, say aye."

"Aye."

Martina was shocked by this turn of events and started to cry like a big baby. "Waaaahhh, you're all mean!" The others watched her whined about how they were being unfair. Only Zangulus, her boyfriend, comforted her… Even though he was one of the people who disagree with her sacrifice scheme.

Amelia sweatdropped at the scene. "… Okay, then. I guess this ends the idea session for now. I guess you guys can try to get information and evidence on our subject. I think Dark Ace would be glad to supervise you." As much as she knew they had to work together, being with Dark Ace made her uneasy. Besides, she can find a just main point all by herself.

Before she could walk away, Piper grabbed her and whispered, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

And before the black-haired girl could answer, Finn intruded, "Yea, do you remember the other times when he showed "evidence"?" Amelia paled when she remembered that. Apparently, Dark Ace showed some "photoshopped" pictures of Lina "stealing lollipops" innocent kids. With that in mind, she panicked, quickly grabbed her partner and ran away from the group. Everyone just watched, being very confused.

"… What was that about?"

* * *

"Hey, Zel?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay with Amelia?"

Zelgadis sighed before turning to Gourry. "Gourry, even though that is the fifth time you ask me that, I am still fine with Amelia." Apparently, he was annoyed by how much his partner had asked that. "Amelia may be naïve and a bit over-radical, but it's not like she'll go overboard or anything."

"Well, I think Gourry meant if you were okay with Amelia being with Dark Ace," Lina said as she intruded on the conversation, "I would if I knew she was going to be working with that creep."

The chimera twitched in annoyance. "Why are you asking me if I'm worry about that? It's not like I'm her babysitter. Besides, I doubt there will be any complications with those two. She needs to learn how to take care of herself. "

"Okay, Zel, just saying. After all, he has a pretty bad reputation of being Cyclonis' right-hand man," she said, before turning to Cyclonis. "Which reminds me, why didn't you want to be debate leader anyway? Don't you like to boss people around?"

Cyclonis didn't look up from her book, turning a page in it. "Why be captain of a sinking ship?"

"Eh?" Lina was confused by her answer. She thought Cyclonis would have a better explanation than that, something like Zelgadis and Gourry raised their hands first.

Seeing her confused face, the black-haired girl decided to clarify her reasons. "After checking over the list, I can tell that the other team has the upper hand, even having my two brightest minions and my rival in crystal mastery. All we have is two idiots, a bad-tempered loudmouth, a chimera with problems, a paranoid merb, and a polite stalker. No offense, really."

"… None taken," Slyphiel quietly said, peeking out from behind a bookshelf. Everyone else muttered in agreement while deep down, they were really offended. Zelgadis was the only one silent, really shocked that he was the one who had "problems".

"Besides," she then took out map and looked at it, "I have taken this time to do better things, like my plans for taking over the world." Everyone just laughed a little. Of course, she would do that instead of researching with them. Her ultimate goal was world domination after all.

Everyone just went back to what they were doing, except for Gourry who couldn't do research even if his life depended on it. Instead, he was examining something that was much more worthwhile than any old debate. He watched two subjects with precise vision and dedication. But after hours (it was five minutes by normal time standards), he decided he needed help with this one and turned to Snipe.

"Hey, Snipe." The burly man blinked, before turning to the blonde. "Who has the flatter chest? Lina or Cyclonis?"

Snipe blinked again before looking at both Cyclonis and Lina. After a few seconds, he finally came to a conclusion. "Lina."

"Oh." Gourry blinked before looking back at the two girls. "But… They kinda look the same from this distance. Are you sure?"

Snipe looked back at the blonde and said, "I'm sure. Lina Inverse has the flattest chest here."

"And what makes you say that?" Gourry was curious behind his logic. There were times when he also questioned who the real idiot here was. Of course, he had a slight lead above Snipe in that category.

"Because there is no way that Cyclonis would have a flatter chest than your flat-chested girlfriend!" Snipe shouted loudly that the whole school could hear him. Unluckily for him, only one cared about that statement.

"… What was that, you Grade-A morons?" The two guys turned and then cowered at the sight of a raging Lina holding a steel spiked bat. If there was something scarier than that, then it definitely hadn't met Lina yet.

She would have pummeled the two too if Cyclonis hadn't spoken up. "Now, before you beat them into dust, I have to say that I have been curious about that too…" The red head turned her head slowly and creepily at her. "And after some observation and calculation, I discovered that my breasts are an eighth of an inch bigger than yours."

Lina examined Cyclonis for a moment and saw that her chest was an eighth of an inch bigger than hers. This annoyed the red head to great extent. And Lina being Lina, she decided to get to the bottom of this… And that was by checking out forcefully for herself while dragging Gourry and Snipe with her.

"Okay! Where are they?"

"Where's what?"

"The pads! Take those off right now!"

"You're insisting that I wear pads to enhance my chest size?"

"Well, I can't see any other way! Take them off or else I'll fireball you!"

"Ow! Lina, can you please stop? You're hurting me!"

"Hey! That's my nose!"

Zelgadis watched the brawl and sighed. "… Leave it to those two to start a riot." He then looked over at those who were at least helping out and said, "At least you guys are on task."

"Well, it is a team project," replied Starling, looking up at him from her book.

"Yea… Even if the team does have a disadvantage," Stork continued, "Though it might be even worse if we all had mind worms…" Despite the merb's paranoia ranting, there was no way of denying that there was going to be some difficulty against the other team from what Cyclonis had said. However, they might have a chance to win this if there weren't any more distractions today.

"Hello, Filia's class!"

… Spoke too soon.

The chimera sighed before turning his attention to Xellos. "What are you doing here? Don't you have anything else better to do?" It seemed that the Mazoku teachers at this school tried to make the students miserable during their free time. And Xellos' favorite target was none other than Zelgadis himself (with the occasion of Stork and Filia at times).

"Oh, Zelly…" The Mazoku acted surprise. "I just thought I should help you. After all as a teacher, it is my job to help students." Now, if he had been a saint, there would wings and a halo on him. But he wasn't a saint since he stole those items from a real one.

The chimera was about to tell the trickster teacher to buzz off, before Aerrow said, "Xellos, I think we are pretty good. I think the other team is fine too, even though they have Amelia and Dark Ace as leaders."

"Amelia and Dark Ace, hm?" Xellos began to pondered, his mind hatching a devious scheme. "… Maybe I should see this for myself. After all, this might be an interesting sight to see," and with that said, he teleported out of there.

"… Aerrow, why did you answer him?" Zelgadis sweatdropped at the fact that Aerrow told the teacher about Amelia was with Dark Ace as partners.

Aerrow looked over at the chimera. "Well, I don't know. Just sincerity, I guess. Why? You worried about the Amelia and Dark Ace thing?" Oh no, Zelgadis wasn't worried about that. He was beyond worried now. If Xellos is involved in something, nothing good can come out of it.

* * *

The next day, everyone was doing their best to find and research for the bed. Team One had gotten their teammates back on task (Zelgadis promised Lina, Gourry, and Snipe that he would paid for their meals for a week, while Cyclonis gets to studied his body for her own diabolitical needs). As for Team Two, they still needed a main argument for their topic. Amelia wanted an argument that was Just while Dark Ace wanted one that was at least rational. And as much as that sounded easy, logic and justice sometimes don't mix when it comes to the grey issues.

"Again, Miss Amelia," groaned Dark Ace as he rubbed his temples, "We are not doing the one you have chosen. It may sound that it is right, but it contradicts itself in the second paragraph." Right now, he was on the edge. Who knew working with this young lady could be so difficult?

"It may contradict itself, but it still shows the light of justice!" Amelia yelled in a quiet, yet dramatic voice, "Besides, it is still better than the one you chose. It may have some logic but it still didn't tell about the righteousness of our topic!"

He groaned again, feeling a migraine coming on. "We're not here to talk about what's right and wrong. We're here to explain in simple terms why this is needed, justice or no justice." He then sighed, knowing that he should level with her. "Look, you know that stealing is wrong." Amelia nodded. "Do you know why it is wrong?"

After some thinking, she shook her head. After all the lectures her father had told, none of them clearly didn't say why stealing was wrong.

Upon reading her expression, Dark Ace explained, "Though stealing is celebrated in countries, in actuality, it's not better for society. If stealing was okay, then everyone is going to do it. Thieves will become victims, and victims will become thieves. And all their possessions will be moved from place to place with no actual origin. Understand?"

Once hearing about that, Amelia nodded slowly. It did make sense if you really think about it. It even amazed her more that he almost sounded like a hero of justice.

While she was pondering this, he browsed through the book before showing a particular page to her. "Here, not only is this rational, but it talks about why it's right too." Amelia blinked, before skimming the argument. It seemed that it did pose a compromise between them. She was about to thank Dark Ace, before seeing him packing up. "Now, if you excuse me, I have better things to do."

"Wait, what about working-!" Her complaint was cut short when she heard something move behind her. She turned around to see the bookcase coming down on her. She freaked, knowing that she couldn't get out of the way before the splat. But before she could get crushed by a thousand classic titles, someone quickly jumped, grabbed her, and moved her out of the way of the falling bookshelf. Amelia had her eyes closed when she was being saved. So, when she opened them, she saw that her savior was none other than Dark Ace.

He blinked before dropping her to the ground. "This means nothing. I only saved you because having you killed will mean a bad grade, got it?"

Still dazed by the whole experience, she replied, "Y-yes…" And with that, he left her there while she was still confused by that event.

Meanwhile in the shadows, someone was watching the two. "My my, this is working better than expected."

* * *

_Amelia was frolicking through a field of flowers, enjoying life and the things that came with it. She was in a white dress, matching her figure almost perfectly with modesty. Why she was wearing a dress and doing in a field of flowers, she didn't care. She was enjoying this dream._

_She fell back into a bed of flowers, laughing before relaxing. She stared at the sky for a few moments until hearing the sound of horseshoes. The girl quickly turned to the source to see a white horse coming to her. The horse stopped a foot away from here. The rider on the horse got off and approached her with grace and dignity. Who was this mysterious rider? Why, he was none other than Dark Ace in a prince outfit._

"_Hello, princess," he said before leaning close to the girl, "Mind if I kiss your lips?" Then, he leaned close to her before…_

* * *

Amelia woke up dripping in cold sweat. She just had the most horrifying dream in her life. Her… With Dark Ace, kissing, she was in shock on how she could think that. Sure, she could understand if it was her with Zelgadis since she had a crush on him. But with Dark Ace… How could she even think about that?

Of course, she couldn't blame herself since for the past few days she learned a lot about them. Despite being opposites on the good-evil scale, they pretty much had a lot of things in common. They ate Oreos the same way (though mostly everyone splits them before licking the cream), they were both knowledgeable, and they even had very abusive leaders. However, even though she liked Dark Ace, she still had Zelgadis on her mind and in her heart.

"What am I going to do?" she asked herself, scared of what was happening to her. She could tell her father about this. No, he would have made a big speech and ignored the real issue here. There was always her sister, but she might have blabbed it to her friends at college when she's drunk. There only seemed to be one person to help her. And hopefully, she wouldn't fireball her for waking her up.

* * *

"Okay, Amelia, what's so important that you have to bribe me with cookies?" Lina was currently munching on some snacks that her friend had offered. Currently, she didn't like being awake on a Sunday morning. But by the tone of Amelia's voice and an offering of food, she might as well hear her.

"Well…" began Amelia, "I have someone I like… But lately, I have been getting feelings for someone else…"

"Is it Dark Ace?" Lina replied, causing her friend to pale, "Relax, some of us knew it was going to happen. Now, did he give you some sort of love potion or did you see him naked?"

"M-Miss Lina!" Amelia was now blushing a very deep red. "We had some friendly banter for a while… And after that, I got to know him a little more and…" She then put her hands on her head in a dread fashion. "I don't know what to do. I love Mister Zelgadis, but now, I'm falling for Dark Ace. And what's worse, I can't focus on our assignment when I'm with him."

The redhead took a gulp of water before saying, "Relax, it's just tension. Usually, it happens when two people work together on something for too long." Her explanation did help, but Amelia was still worried. "It happened to me too. Remember when I had to work with Domiwick on our history project? Well during that time, I started to develop an attraction to him too, and I probably would have dumped Gourry for him."

Amelia listened before gulping. "… So, what happened?"

A vein popped up on Lina's forehead. "He tried to take credit for all of my hard work. So, I fireballed him." Amelia sweatdropped at that statement. Leave it to Lina to get angry at something involving her. "However for your case, I think you should kiss Dark Ace. Not that I'm scared of him or anything, but any attacks on him will probably get you killed."

"But," Amelia panicked as she turned white, "The debate is tomorrow. How am I supposed to kiss him before it?" She was now definitely in a dilemma. If someone saw them kiss, it might lead to something worse, like blackmail.

"Well, you better think of some way to do it. If it's not done, you might haunt you for the last of your life." Lina added some scary effects to scare Amelia a bit. And with that, she finished off the last of the pantry supplies.

* * *

On the day of the debate, the entire school was packed into the auditorium to see what the class had come up with. From teachers to students to class pets, they were all here against their own wills and they didn't like it one bit. Filia, on the other hand, was nervous. As much as she wanted this job, she never thought that the principal would go this far for her to prove it.

"Is everything ready?" asked a familiar voice as the teacher jumped and turned to see Lord of Nightmares behind her. Filia gulped when she saw that her boss was looking pretty scary at the moment, drumming her fingers along her arm.

Before Filia could answer, Xellos popped up next to them. "Why, yes, everyone is here and is ready to start."

"DIE!" The dragon quickly swung her mace at the monster. He dodged it like always, smiling as he fed on her anger. She then turned back to the principal and said, "Everything is ready, ma'm. All the students will begin shortly."

"Good… I was hoping to see something special." The principal then turned to the stage as all the debate students were sitting at their respective tables. They all seemed very collective, except for Amelia. She couldn't find a perfect time to kiss Dark Ace and soon, she would be going up first to speak.

A few minutes later, the auditorium quiet down and turned their attention to the stage. "Alright, students, you are now here for a special presentation from the debate team. First up, will be Amelia from Team Two." Amelia gulped before getting up and walking to the podium. She looked at all people as she began to sweat. Between that, her confused feelings, and the pressure, she was definitely on edge.

"W-w-well, y-you see… Ummm…" she stuttered, shifting her gaze from the audience to Zelgadis to Dark Ace. She twiddled her thumbs, stopping only to make some other hand gesture. Everyone took noticed of this and started to whisper among themselves. Now, she was really worried.

"… Would you excuse me for a moment?" Amelia hopped off the podium and walked back to her table, over to Dark Ace. He blinked at this behavior, about to say something before she grabbed him and kissed him on the lips. Everyone stared at the ten second kiss, amazed that she would actually do something like this. Finn just groaned. Now he owed five bucks to Carver.

After that, Amelia walked back to the podium and began her grand speech on the justice and logic of her topic. Of course, no one was listening to her. They were still in shock of the kiss, especially Zelgadis. His bluish-green skin was now white with horror.

Once the speech was done, she joyfully walked off the podium and back to the table. Now, it was Team A's turn to speak up. However, the chimera was still shock by the whole ordeal. So it was Gourry, who still didn't know what was going on, to deliver the speech for them. While he was walking up there, Zelgadis' expression soon turned to fury as he noticed Dark Ace waving to him with a smug look on his face.

"Why, you son of a-!"

There was no other way to say it but Zelgadis lunged himself at Dark Ace and pretty soon, they were fighting each other on stage. Everyone was now excited to see some action instead of hearing boring lectures. Amelia panicked, now knowing the damage her kiss onstage had caused. Filia was also panicking about the whole situation.

"Principal, I am so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen, I swear." She hoped her pleads would helped with keeping her job. But she was shocked to see that the principal wasn't angry but actually smiling at the whole ordeal.

"Miss Filia, this has been the most interesting debate I have ever seen. And though unorthodox, it had satisfied my expectations. Congratulations, you got the job." The dragon brimmed with brightness before the principal turned to Xellos. "And Xellos, stop being so modest. I know you had a hand in all of this."

Filia twitched and her anger meter rose when she heard the Mazoku said, "Oh no, principal. I may have got Amelia to have fondness for Dark Ace. But all the credit goes to Miss Filia." The dragon was now beyond a forgiving nature to thank Xellos for her new job. No one messes with her project and gets away with it.

"_**Xellos, you bastard!**_" She soon transformed into her dragon form and started to blast at the teacher, with no hits at him. Seeing this, everyone in the auditorium took the scene as a sign to evacuate before things could get worse. The only person who stayed to watch this was the principal herself, smiling as ever.

"Well, this is a nice little spat, isn't it?" the Lord of Nightmares said while watching, "Though I guess it is my duty to pass out punishment for fighting on school grounds. Being a principal is really tough sometimes…"

* * *

The next day pretty much went back to normal. Even though Filia got the job, she declined the offer due to debate being much more stressful than expected. Amelia's feelings for Dark Ace completely disappeared, now replaced with guilt. She was now trying to make it up by apologizing and explaining the situation.

"I'm so sorry about that, Mister Zelgadis," she said as she walked down the hallway with him, "I told Miss Lina about thinking about Dark Ace and she said that it was tension. Then, she told me all about Domiwick and how I should kiss Dark Ace, and well, I'm very sorry. I hope that you don't think of me any less."

After hearing the whole situation, he replied, "It's fine, really. I guess it was tough with the tension and all. Besides, having stone skin is a blessing with bare-fisted fights." Oh yes, Dark Ace was covered in bandages while Zelgadis only had a black eye. "But next time… Please don't listen to Lina's advice. _Ever_."

"HEY! My advice was just fine!" The sorceress was also walking next to them with Gourry in tow. "Though I have to admit, that could have been executed better than that. But hey, just be glad you did it instead of waiting after the debate, okay?"

"What I still can't believe is the detentions the principal gave out," Gourry said as he thought. Yes, not only did Zelgadis and Dark Ace have detention, but Filia and Xellos had to attend them, along with Carver. "I mean I know Carver is a bad guy and all. But he didn't do anything and he still got detention."

"Carver always gets detention, whether he did something or not," replied Lina, also curious as to why Carver always got detention. "However, all's well that ends well, I guess. Zelas will be back soon, Amelia doesn't like Dark Ace anymore, and we are now back to normal."

Gourry looked at Lina with a smile on his face. "Okay, Lina, but I kinda have one question. That Domiwick guy…" The red-haired girl started to panicked, hoping that he would bury the subject before something bad happens. "Is he… Your brother?" She slapped her head before walking over to the next class. "Oh, then is he an uncle?"

"No."

"Your cousin?"

"No, Gourry."

"Oh, then some relative that I never met?"

Amelia and Zelgadis watched as Aerrow departed for his class too. It seemed that some things will never change for them, one of them being Lina and Gourry's interesting relationship. And now that reality was back to normalcy, it was a good time to just relax and worried about the same stuff.

However, once entering Xellos' class, they saw the teacher giving a lecture on kisses with a very familiar picture on the projector. "And this recent photo is of Amelia kissing Dark Ace right on the lips. Furthermore if you look closely, you can almost make out her tongue going into his mouth."

"Oooooohhhh…"

Amelia groaned while Zelgadis glared at him with fury. That incident was going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Oh man, the sick mind bug strikes again. Oh man, if the Dark Ace fangirls don't kill me for this, then it's going to be the Amelia/Zelgadis shippers.

Now, don't get me wrong, I support the Amelia/Zelgadis pairing. It's one of the few than I support now without going into a rant about it. However if there might be a Storm Hawks/Slayers crossover, I can see Amelia falling for the Dark Ace (possibly her being under hypnosis or something like that). I won't explain the reasoning, just… take it in for a while. Also, do not listen to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance while thinking about one or more fandoms. You'll thank me later.

With that said, I don't own anything you might find familiar that I haven't written. And if you have any questions about any scenes, I'll try to explain it to my best abilities.

So, please Read and Review!


	6. New Cook

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or Storm Hawks.

_**New Cook**_

The Colonel sat at his usual place at his extravagant table, waiting for his dinner from his _new _cook. The old chef, after making a mistake with his last dish, was "fired" (fired being used loosely when dealing with a mob-like enterprise) and now the Colonel was going through the long process of finding a new replacement that would hopefully do better than the last one.

Finally, at the last second when the spider mob boss was about to fire the guy he was trying to hire that his goons walked in with the dish. It seemed to look like a delectable cuisine (and by that, it looked really disgusting) with a questionable aroma irradiating from it. The color was a toxic green, a mild color for a seemingly poisonous dish. Nevertheless, the Colonel picked up his utensils and was about to dig in.

The goons watched in horror as their leader cut off a piece of food. He then moved it closer to his sight, examining the surface of what he was going to eat. So far, it looked to be of good quality. After the examination, the Colonel put it into his mouth and began to chew on it. Once releasing the flavors inside, he soon fell into a delight of happiness. The goons soon sighed with relief from his look. He liked it… And he had survived it as well.

The mob boss began to dig in, finishing up the cuisine in a matter of minutes. Once done, he patted his stomach, remembering the deliciousness of what went inside of him. This cook definitely had the job if he could make sludge taste like heaven. He looked over at the direction of the kitchen and said, "Sir, you have my gratitude of serving me a fine dish. Now, tell me, what were the ingredients you used?"

Xelloss, the Mazoku priest who happened to be a candidate for the Colonel's newest chef, poked his head out of the kitchen. "That, my dear Colonel…" The Mazoku then wagged his finger. "… Is a secret."

* * *

Author's Notes:

… I think I created a new pairing… the Colonel with Xelloss' cooking… Unless Junko decides to eat some of that too.

If you guys don't get it, either watch Slayers Next Episode 15 and/or Storm Hawks Episode 15 (Wow, same position). This popped up in my head looooog ago, and considering how much deadly Xelloss' cooking is, the Colonel will definitely hired Xelloss, and Xelloss would take the job. Why? Because there are so many secrets in the Mafia business… And possibly his Master wants to know about the nitty gritty stuff in Atmos.

I think I'm going to skip dinner after writing this. I don't feel so good…

Please Read and Review!


	7. Positive vs Negative

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Positive vs. Negative**_

"Mmmmm…"

"Ummm, Stork?"

"Yes?"

"How long has he been hanging around you?"

"Oh, at least a day…"

"Do you think you should get rid of him now?"

"…"

"… Stork?"

"…... YES!" the merb screamed as he stood up from the table. Both Slayers and Storm Hawks watched as he started to have a panic attack. It wasn't bad enough that there were four, possibly unclean germ-carrying off-worlders onboard his ship. But getting stalked around by some strange negative-feeder that looked like a human was too much for him. "First, he ruined my Leak-Mold cure! Then, he released several poisonous animals onboard on the _Condor_. And then, he destroys several gadgets that I have been working on for ages! I swear, he wants me to die in some horrible, terrifying tragedy!"

"… Awww, Stork," Xelloss said as he floated around the merb, feeding off his anxiety, "That's because you make such a cute snack." Stork twitched in a scared fashion before looking over at the others with a serious look that said, _"Get rid of him right now before he kills me"_. Lina just looked back at him with her look, _"If we had any idea on how to get rid of him, he would have avoided us years ago"_.

Aerrow sweatdropped, seeing how much Stork was hating Xelloss' closeness. "Stork, you probably just need to relax. It's not like he wants to kill you or anything." The merb glared back at Aerrow, knowing that he forgotten that Xelloss was a Mazoku, a creature hell bent on destroying the world, including him. The sky knight chuckled half-heartily when he realized he had forgotten that fact.

"Well, Xelloss can have Stork all he wants," Zelgadis muttered before sipping his coffee. Once he was done, he set the cup down on the table. "Besides, if he hangs around him that means that he won't be bothering me any time soon."

Suddenly, Xelloss popped next to the chimera before cuddling with him. "Awwww, you do care." Zelgadis growled, before pulling out his sword before Xelloss popped back next to Stork. Stork glared back at Zelgadis for giving him back the parasite.

"Thanks a lot."

Piper sighed before looking at Lina. "So, you have no idea on how to get rid of him?"

"Well…" Lina replied while thinking. "… We do have one strategy, but…" The sorceress then looked over at Amelia, who had been flexing up her justice muscles. "Only Amelia can execute it properly."

Seeing that it was her turn to help, Amelia turned to both Xelloss and Stork, pointing her finger at the two. "Mister Xelloss! Feeding off the misery of others is an unjust thing to do! So, in the name of light and hope, life is wonderful!" The Mazoku looked sick for a moment, before returning to his normal self. "Huh?" Amelia was shocked to see it only work for a second. "Life if wonderful! Life is wonderful! Life is wonderful!" Each time she had said that phrase, Xelloss went back to being unfazed. This shocked the princess to see her tactic that had worked before fall apart.

Amelia turned back to Lina before apologizing, "Sorry, but I don't understand why it isn't working now…"

"I do." Zelgadis glared at Xelloss, who was still hanging around the merb. "He is using Stork's own paranoia and pessimism to counteract against Amelia's positive attacks." The group soon gasped in terror. Now, they'll never get rid of this problem.

"Then, there's only one thing to do!" Amelia shouted before turning Stork, "Mister Stork! You must feel positivity in order to combat Mister Xelloss!" There was an awkward silence in the room before everyone began to laugh their heads off.

"Amelia, Stork spent most of his life on Terra Merbia. Merbs from that terra are always paranoid and pessimist throughout their lives." Finn explained before thinking up some other things, "Of course, it doesn't help that he has faced other dangerous things, like the wastelands, Black Gorge, the Leviathan,-"

"Finn…"

There was a slight giggle across the table before the sharpshooter glared at Stork. "Not cool, dude."

"Well, that still isn't an excuse to feeling negative all the time!" Amelia then got up onto the table to do a justice speech. "Mister Stork! If you want to get rid of Mister Xelloss, then you must have positive and just feelings to do it! First, look in yourself to find the thing that makes you happy! Then, with all your might, shout out feelings of life from your very lungs for the whole world to hear! That is the way of a warrior of justice!"

Junko looked at Lina and asked, "Does that work?"

Lina looked back at the wallop and answered, "I don't know. I'm not a warrior of justice." Even though Amelia would like to think she was, Lina was definitely not.

Stork listened to the princess' speech before following it himself. First, he looked in himself to find the thing that made him happy, which would have been getting a new Anti-Mindworm Helmet 3000. Then, his feelings welled up inside of him like a big balloon. Finally, he opened his mouth to say the most positive thing that he had ever said…

"… Life is a black abyss, repeating the dreary events over and over again."

Everyone, saved for Stork and Xelloss, facefaulted from that phrase. He was supposed to say something positive, not a line from one of his dark poems. Of course, knowing Stork, his poems were the only thing that gave him little joy, along with his other hobbies.

The group soon got up, leaving Aerrow to say, "Well, I guess Stork has learned to live with Xelloss, right?" The merb glared at him with a face that said, _"I'm never going to learn to live with him"_. Aerrow just shrugged back, showing that he couldn't think of anything else to do at the moment.

Luckily, Lina thought of something on the spot. "Hold on for a moment." She then grabbed everyone in a huddle and started to tell of her plan. Stork tried to overhear, hoping that it was something that could save him. Though, he couldn't make sense of it. As for Xelloss, he was too busy feeding to notice.

Soon, the huddle broke, leaving Lina to say, "Well, see ya later! We're off to Terra Neon now!" Stork went to ghostly white when she had said that. They were going to leave him with this… Person!

Xelloss looked at her and smirked. "Don't worry about me, Miss Lina. I'm content with staying here with Stork." The merb then went transparent. Now, he was really doomed.

"Well, good for you, Xelloss!" the sorceress replied before heading out the doors with the others. However, there was one exchange of dialogue between Lina and Gourry (Of whom I need to give some dialogue in this).

"But, Lina, I thought we were-!"

_WHACK!_

"Quiet, Jellyfish Brains!"

Afterwards, Stork was now alone on the _Condor_. He would have like his alone time better _if _Xelloss was bothering someone _else_ instead of _him_. Oh well, if he somehow got killed during this, he could write out his will.

A while past and it was still quiet on the _Condor_, saved for Xelloss' humming. Now, the merb really wanted him to leave. But since he couldn't say or feel anything that could repel the Mazoku, he was stuck until help came. Maybe if he lived through this experience, he could try to create a device that could emulate Amelia's positive feelings and bounce it back at Xelloss. Luckily, he was going to survive, because both Slayers and Storm Hawks soon came back, bombarding both Xelloss and Stork in a group hug and positive sayings.

"Life is Wonderful!"

"Everything is beautiful!"

"It takes forty-two muscles to frown, but seventeen to smile!"

"Righteousness and true love conquers all!"

"RAWR!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Xelloss screamed, before disappearing into thin air. Lina smirked as her plan to get rid of Xelloss worked. If it takes one merb's negativity to keep him here, then it would have token six humans, a chimera, a wallop, and a furry-creature thingy to repel him back. And now, that work, it would be a long time before the Mazoku came back to heckle them.

"Well, I doubt that would work a second time, but at least we got rid of that fruitcake priest. Right, Stork?" Lina said, waiting for a reply from Stork. After a few seconds of not hearing anything, she looked down at the merb she had saved. "… Stork?"

Stork, being free from Xelloss, was now lying on the floor, looking like he had caught a comatose-formed of rabies. Now, she realized the downside to her fantastic plan. Stork wasn't really much of a germ-lover by nature and possibly them hugging him has caused him to faint. In the merb's own mind, he now had to take a sterilization bath for a week.

…But at least the Mazoku would think twice before messing with his stuff.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Another one-shot coming your way! This time, it deals with Xelloss' feeding negativity from Stork. If you feel that there is some OOCness from the character, I'm sorry. I thought the comedy of the entire situation would over shadow it…

For those of you who don't understand, Xelloss is a Mazoku and Mazokus feed of negative emotions (sadness, anger, grief, etc.). From my perspective, Stork is a perfect lunch for him (watch Storm Hawks and you'll see why). Though, there are moments of glee when he explains symptoms or effects of some terrifying thing.

I'm working on some of my other projects. So, don't worry! I'll update something else up… Soon.

Please Read and Review!


	8. Tale of the Ages

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or Storm Hawks.

_**Tale of the Ages**_

_It was a long, long time ago, during the war between the Gods and the Dark Lords. Plague Bearer Death Fog, the Dark Lord of the Sky World, tortured the living beings of his domain with his terrible power. Creating deadly storms that would last for centuries and spreading agonizing illnesses throughout the land, he was sure to destroy the world and return it back to Chaos. However, his adversary, Whitewind Dragon Malpheed, was determined to stop him and saved the last pure land in her world._

_The two fought each other, reshaping half of the world into a desolate wasteland, with only high peaks that reached beyond the clouds. Both of their powers rivaled each other, one with the brilliance of the dawn and the other with darkness beyond the dusk, but they both knew one would make it out alive. The battle had lasted millennia, but with the last of her strength, Malpheed finally sealed Death Fog in a deadly crystal. But in return, the God had lost most of her strength to continue on. She had asked both her dragon children and the Guardians to protect this world. They had agreed, letting her leave this world peacefully and her body becoming the Great Barrier that protected the land that remained untouched by evil._

_Afterwards, Mazoku and High Dragons fought each other for the fate of the world. Sometimes their battles would involve helpless humans who could not defend against their power. The dragons were sorry for the damage they had caused to humanity, but the destruction was far too great for the humans to consider it a true confession. The fighting continued for at least a centaury until a human stumbled upon a secret for defeating the Mazoku that plagued his world._

_His name was Belial Cyclonis._

_Through the cultivation of crystals and crystal manipulation, Cyclonis create an army to defend against the attacking Mazoku. The dark demons were no match for the powerful stones that the human army had used against them and soon found themselves in the same position as their master. The humans took the Mazoku-created crystals and used them against the now retreating Mazoku and soon the High Dragons, who had done nothing to help the human's suffering long ago. Once both races were thought to be extinct, Belial was then made ruler of the sky world._

_In retaliation to his rule, many worshippers of both the Gods and Mazoku and even the Guardians of the Sky World had confronted Cyclonis, saying that he had now disturbed the balance of the world. Belial was angered by their accusations. He was the one who had saved his race from death of both Mazoku and High Dragons and now, he was considered to be the one who had wronged? His final step to make his rule absolute was his order of the destruction of both these worshippers and the Guardians. Many fled for their lives, hiding in secret from Belial's wrath. It was in this hour that no one could stop his tyrannical reign._

_Many years had passed and still, the Cyclonian Empire ruled what was now called a part of Atmos. However, they were soon stunned by the rise of a new heroic breed. The sky knights, who had believed that the Cyclonis family had reign over their world in an oppressive system, stood up against the empire in hopes of freedom. A half of a century passed and many had fallen during that period. Where would the future lead now? Maybe our little group would give us hindsight..._

* * *

"… That's it?"

"That's it."

"… I… Didn't quite get that." Lina, Amelia, and Zelgadis turned to Gourry, not surprise by their friend's reaction. The group had been sitting in the inn they were staying when a mysterious story teller had offered them a tale in exchange for proper charity.

Lina sighed, knowing that she was going to explain in a short, understanding version. "After the God and Dark Lord popped off, both sides went overboard with the fighting, leading to humans overpowering them with deadly rocks. That led to the humans to overpower other humans, which led to a revolution in which the two factions are still fighting to this day…" The sorceress sighed after telling the whole thing in footnotes. "Though… I'm kinda disappointed in the ending. He just left it off on a cliffhanger."

"I agreed," Zelgadis spoke up from his place, "It sounds like an unfinished prequel…"

Amelia looked up with a worried look on her face. "It sure is, but I didn't like the retaliation against the Mazoku and High Dragons…" She then looked down at the floorboards. "Even though Mazoku are supposedly bad, I think they shouldn't hunted down to extinction, especially if there was going to be a greater evil afterwards…"

"Hey, hey, Amelia, that was just a story. I doubt someone would just defeat a bunch of Mazoku using a bunch of dumb rocks anyway. It's even impossible now to just defeat a Dark Lord, even with the strongest spells," Lina comforted Amelia, before standing up and shouting, "So, let's forget about that! Where's my dinner?"

"Yea, I'm starving!" shouted Gourry as well, as the waiters quickly ran over to their table with their feast. Both Lina and Gourry soon started to devour everything they had ordered plus some. Everyone, including Amelia and Zelgadis watched with sweatdrops forming on top of their heads. The story teller also watched, only chuckling to himself.

"These are certainly interesting people…" he said to himself, before standing up and walking away, not being notice by others. "Lively characters like these are truly rare in any world, especially Atmos. I wonder what kind of future it would have if both they and the Storm Hawks fought alongside each other." And then once out of the inn, he disappeared into the night.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Yea, this one is more Slayers-involved, more or less. I was kinda creating an origin story of Atmos in relation to the Slayers universe in terms of their God, Dark Lord, history before the actual show time, etc. I possibly did a pretty good job… Though you guys might call shenanigans on the crystals defeating the Dark Lords, but remember when humans could do Holy Magic? Yea, it's just like that.

So why did I choose these things for an origin story? Well, I felt Death Fog was definitely the Dark Lord of Atmos, being that the Storm Hawks' story takes place in the air. Malpheed is following the names of the other Gods, plus her title came from a spell in the Final Fantasy Series (Yea… I should have come up with a better name). For Belial Cyclonis, his first name came from a fallen evil angel that somewhat describes his fall into darkness.

Also, the Story-teller guy is _not _Arygyn or any other Guardian. He is an original character that I made for the Storm Hawks/Slayers universe as a Demon General of Atmos. His hobbies are writing, telling, and reading stories, mostly macabre, gothic, horror, and especially tragedy. If you want, you can imagine him being like the Count of Monte Crisco from the same anime, only much darker and crueler… Or not.

I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, especially the ones I didn't mention. Thank you, Hawk-Masters, Fluffyfuzzball, blueyblonde, and Kitten2007. Have some treats on the house! I hope you guys review in the future!

So, Please Read and Review!


	9. Naga

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Naga**_

It was just another day on Cyclonia, with everyone preparing for another battle plan that was doomed to fail. They were fixing their skimmers and building other death machines that would somehow blow up back in their faces. What _was _different today was that they were all wearing earplugs. Why? They had a guest that was beyond obnoxious.

"OH-HOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Yea… _**that **_obnoxious guest.

Cyclonis sat in the meeting room with her top three commanders beside her, staring back at the person who proclaimed herself to be "Naga the White Serpent". She was a very tall and robust woman with long hair that covered her backside. The more notable feature about it, other than the ear-splitting laugh, was her _fascinating _choice of clothing. She was wearing nothing more than black bikini that covered a little of her body along with a cape that had spiked shoulder pads and black boots. With both the Dark Ace and Snipe blushing red hot at Naga's outfit, Cyclonis knew she already had a problem with her.

"So… Miss Naga…" Cyclonis was having a hard time keeping calm with the beating headache she was having. "We have been having problems with the rebels now… Much more than usual since someone has been helping them." She then held up a picture of what a surviving Talon drew before he was blown up. By all standards, it was a pretty accurate picture of Lina Inverse, if she was forty feet tall and breathed fire from her mouth.

Naga grabbed the picture and examined it before exclaiming out loud, "I see! You have been having troubles with my long eternal rival, Lina Inverse! Yes, she is quite difficult to deal with, especially with her deadly black magic spells. But not to worry, Cyclonis! With Naga the White Serpent on your side, I shall crush her along with those evil rebels you've been talking about!"

'Evil… Right…' Cyclonis thought, realizing that her guest _still _hadn't figured out that they were the bad guys in the first place. After all, everyone here was in dark colors and that describe bad guys, right? Of course, if this Lina Inverse was truly a rival to this person, then by logic, she must go on the opposite side of that person. Trying not to make her head hurt even more, Cyclonis asked, "Can you please just get rid of her?"

"Why, of course, miss Cyclonis! … Just as long as you're willing to pay me afterwards." Cyclonis soon sweatdropped, already knowing that this wasn't going to be cheap. However if she was going to ask for the entire military fund, she might as well surrender to the sky knights.

Sighing, Cyclonis finally made her decision. "You'll be rewarded handsomely if you succeed. Just go already before I change my mind about you."

Naga stood up before proclaiming loudly again, "Of course, Cyclonis! I will defeat Lina Inverse and then, I shall destroy the evil rebels for defying your rule! OH-HOHOHOHOHOHO!" And with that, the White Serpent was quickly out the door, causing major damage in her path. After she had left, all the Cyclonian leaders quickly slacked off after enduring her aggravating personality.

"Ugh, please don't tell me that is fashionable on their world," Cyclonis moaned as she lay back in her chair. As much as that laugh had given her migraines, but that woman's choice of clothing was truly lacking of modesty. They practically screamed, _"Hey! Look at me! I have the perfect female body and I'm showing it off!"_

"Indeed, those clothes truly leave much for the imagination," Ravess commented before huffing, "Honestly, she should show better modesty than that." Cyclonis' anger quelled up as she glared at Ravess. She should not say that if she was showing of a little of her cleavage.

"Good thing Cyclonis doesn't wear anything like that. She's skinny as a stick with a chest to match." Cyclonis twitched before turning to Snipe, who had said that carelessly. Her rage was already at the pinnacle of maximum. He had just made it worse.

"Snipe…" she calmly said before whacking him with her staff _**hard**_ causing the giant man fell back on the floor with stars around his head. "I'm still in my growing phase." Both the Dark Ace and Ravess smirked at his mistake. Snipe should have known better than to blurt sensitive things out.

_Five minutes later…_

Cyclonis was in her laboratory when two Talon grunts entered. She turned around to see them carrying the same woman that she was talking to earlier. But instead of being the hyperactive crazy beauty that she was, she was now KOed and blackened in soot. Fearing of what the answer was, Cyclonis sighed and asked, "What happened to her?"

One of the Talons gulped, wondering if this was going to be the end for him. "W-Well… She was near the edge of the hanger bay, ranting about rivalry and other stuff… A few seconds later a big fireball came out of nowhere and hit her in its wake. The next thing we knew she was on the ground like this."

"… What do you want us to do with her?" the other Talon asked, scared of angering Master Cyclonis. She just stared at Naga, wondering what sort of torture she was going to put her through for failing. But after thinking a while about it, she just sighed.

"Just put her back on her world. I think torturing her like this might give people the wrong idea." The two grunts complied with Master Cyclonis' order and started to drag the KOed woman out. The young empress went back to working on her next project. Though, she was curious about where the fireball came from.

* * *

"Okay, is it _Charred the Condor _Day?" Stork was busy cleaning off the tip of the _Condor_'s hanger after Lina had charred it with her one of her extreme fire spells. He didn't know why she did it (probably to annoy him with cleaning it), but all of a sudden, the sorceress walked out on the hanger and threw a fireball in a random direction.

"Hey, I had one of those feelings that you always get," Lina explained, rubbing the back of her head, "However, it was more of the aggravating feeling than on-coming certain doom. So, I decided to strike first before that premonition came true."

"But did you have to scorch _my ship_?" Stork had feelings for his precious ship, and seeing it scarred carelessly had made him a little bit mad.

Lina's reply was simple yet explanative. "Hey, all those things you said that are dangerous and deadly are nothing, I repeat, _nothing_, compared to my first traveling partner."

* * *

Author's Notes:

Another oneshot/drabble done! This time, we focus on Naga and what would happen if she was on Atmos! You know, if Naga was really on Storm Hawks, then there could be a higher TV rating to the show. Either that or make some changes to Naga to make her look less… You know, less revealing.

This idea came from me reading and re-reading a certain chapter in TheGuineapig3's _Pulling the Strings_. She gets all the credit for the idea and she is a good author. If you like Slayers and good story telling, see her page!

Also, I can sense that Cyclonis might have a problem with Naga as seen here, or the entire royal Seyrunn family. If you don't get it, imagine Cyclonis as being an Anti-Amelia (She's dark, doesn't want peace and love, and likes to torture people). Now, imagine her being surrounded by Prince Phil, Amelia, and Naga all at once… Not a pretty sight.

I hope to get back to my regular writing soon. Until then, enjoy!

Please Read and Review!


	10. Dinner with Raptors

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers and Storm Hawks

_**Dinner with Raptors**_

For some reason, Zelgadis knew that some day he would probably end up in this kind of situation. To understand the predicament fully, let's rewind the day back. Zelgadis was on his usual cure hunt when he landed on what looked to be a deserted terra. He soon realized it was in fact inhabited when he got sneak-attack by the current locals. Now, he was tied up and waiting to be lunch for some reptilian beastmen… If they could decide on which part to eat.

"For the latht time, Leugy!" the skinny lizard yelled in a voice that could almost rival Lina's if it wasn't for the lisp, "Repton getth thith piece," he pointed to a huge chuck that was Zel's torso, "I get thethe," he pointed to Zel's arms, "Hoerk getth thethe," he pointed to Zel's legs, "And you get thethe." He then pointed to the last pieces, which were apparently Zel's ears, which were a very small portion compared to others.

"But why do I get the ears, Spitz?" whined the slightly obese lizard who was named Leugy. True, it was almost unfair to let him a tiny portion while the rest had almost the same size. Of course, Zel didn't want to hear this conversation since it involved him as the one they were eating.

The third lizard, a more muscular one than his brothers, answered, "Because we're putting you on a diet, remember?" Leugy blinked before looking at his round gut. Then, he sweatdropped, a little embarrass about his body problem.

"Hehe… Good point." Leugy chuckled hesitantly for a little bit before going back to his depressed self. "But you could make it even. If not for me, then for Repton and you guys too…"

"Oh yea! And how would you thplit thith?" Spitz was getting a little impatient with the dividing of shares among them. After all, this was his fifth try after many complaints before.

Leugy thought for a moment before snapping his fingers. Then, once grabbing the chalk from Spitz, he divided the chimera both horizontally and then vertically. When getting done, he looked at his brothers. "There, now it's even."

Spitz facepalmed his forehead at his idiot brother's attempt at dividing. "Jutht becauthe you it workth with pie and pizza doethn't mean it will work with other food!" Zelgadis sweatdropped when hearing this. He felt ashamed that he was captured by these guys when he had defeated enemies who were smarter than them.

The three still continued to fight over which part of Zelgadis they were going to eat until a voice boomed angrily behind them. "WHAT ISSSS TAKING SSSSO LONG?" All three brothers jumped and turned to another lizard that wasn't as muscular as the other one but had that air of superiority around him. The others cringed at his presence and by the looks of the scene; it was the right reaction for the rage he was feeling at this moment.

"We're thorry, botth. We're thtill trying to thpilt portions for all of uth." Spitz answered, bowing into "Scared Doggy" position.

"Yea, we're still trying to make it even," Leugy said after Spitz stopped. His own reason for why they were delaying dinner made Repton slapped his own face. He growled softly, wondering how he could be related these idiots.

"… I'm not sure if I should be involved in this since I'm dinner," Zelgadis spoke up, causing all four Raptors to stare at him, "But maybe you should ask my opinion first since you're going to be eating me. It might help make this go quicker."

Repton raised an eyebrow, wondering why his captured prey has offered to help with the cooking. But once thinking it over, he sighed. "Fine, tell me how we ssssshould cook you." Due to his straving stomach, he might as well go with the food rather than his kin.

Zelgadis smirked in his head, wondering if this longshot plan was going to work. "Well, for starters, you want to test me first since I am probably different than your other meals."

Leugy blinked before looking over Zelgadis again. Once making a thorough investigation (Well, thorough to Leugy) , he looked back up at Repton. "Well… He does look kinda sickly." The chimera sweatdropped when hearing that. He didn't look that _bad_.

Repton raised an eyebrow and looked back at his prey, later untying him. "Fine, we'll try you out raw firssst." The other Raptors chuckled evilly before all four grabbed one of the chimera's limbs. Zelgadis did nothing and lay still, waiting for his capturers to make their move. He knew he had a chance for surviving when they chomped down on his skin.

_CHRISK!_

All four Raptors' eyes opened wide before they fell onto the floor, howling in pain over their broken teeth. Zelgadis simply stood up, brushing himself before walking away. "You know, I _could _do worse if I wanted to. Then again, I guess having a misfortune brought on by yourselves is punishment enough." And then, he left, thanking that he had rocky skin at the moment.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Here's another one-shot/drabble! This time, it involves Zelgadis and the Raptors… With Zelgadis almost being the main course and the Raptors having their teeth broken.

Yea, I realized that I have been focusing these stories on the main characters from both series, leaving secondary characters to gather dust in the corner. There were some exceptions being the Colonel, Arygyn, Chicken Feathers and Naga somewhat, but that wouldn't do! So, this idea popped into my head and I felt to write it to fix this injustice. Also, I'm planning a little surprise drabble-like series hopefully after this which would involve more obscene characters from Storm Hawks meeting Lina. Believe me, when I get the first one done, you'll find it funny.

Also, if you're feeling queasy about the whole experience, I'm actually not sure if Raptors eat humanoids or not (there were some small hints but no actually proof). However, it probably wouldn't be as funny if they didn't try to eat Zelgadis. After all, looking back at all the Slayers episode, I don't think they writers used this joke (someone else did, so I don't own this idea). If I'm mistaken, may lightning strike me.

Anyway, this isn't the end of this idea! Another person might experience Raptor hunting parties!

Please Read and Review!


	11. Pokota's Aggravating Predicament

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Pokota's Aggravating Predicament**_

"_FIREBALL!_"

Pokota shoot his fireball at a Raptor guard and flew down the hallway. He couldn't believe how much trouble he was in for landing what seemed to be a harmless-looking place. It looked like an uninhabited savanna until he found a building nestled between some hills. He then flew up to the building and into one of open rooms, seeing a bunch of shields inside it. He didn't know it, but he felt some sort of sadness when staring at them. Unfortunately, he didn't have any time to look at them any further when a patrol squad of raptors found him and started to hound after him. And that wasn't even the worse part.

"Back off! He's mine!"

"No, he'th mine!"

"I want his ears!"

… Yea, it was embarrassing to be chase by three hungry idiots.

All three of Repton's brothers quickly leapt at Pokota and started to wrestle over him, trying to at least get the first bite. Pokota, on the other hand, was trying to avoid their grabby hands. After all, he _really _didn't want to get eaten, especially by carnivorous reptile men. He started to chant another Fireball spell before one of the lizard, the fat one, bit down on his tiny body. Strangely though, he didn't feel the teeth go in all the way, even though the Raptor looked like he was really trying.

Leugy looked fierce at the moment. Then, he became really confused before lifting his mouth off the creature. He stared before a bit before asking, "Daaahhh… Why are you do taste like fluffy stuff?"

Pokota looked dumbfounded for a second before yelling out his answer, "It's because I'm a stuffed animal, dummies!" All three lizards looked in shock, realizing that their meal was nothing more than a stuff animal. It was bad enough they had their teeth broken by that stony-skin guy. Now, the gods were taunting them by sending them a stuffed animal. Oh how cruel karma was to them…

"… Is that even possible?" asked Hoerk, a bit confused. He knew stuff animals; Leugy collected them as a so-called "hobby". And as far as he knew, they didn't talk, move, or cast spells that burn their skin. Not that they mind though, they like heat.

"Oh, oh! I know!" excitedly responded Leugy, thinking that they were in an elementary classroom, "One night while he was in the toy shop, a fairy came in and decided to turn him into a real bunny rabbit." Everyone, including Pokota, stared at him with aggravated eyes. They were not amused.

"Leugy, Repton will not care how thith ith potthible," Spitz said peacefully, before he started to hit his slightly older brother with a fan (anime prop), "HE'LL CARE THAT WE METTHED UP FINDING _REAL _FOOD AGAIN!" Again, it was bad enough that their teeth were so broken that they couldn't eat meat. In fact, they were planning on buying a blender to make shakes.

Pokota watched as Spitz finished hitting Leugy, the fatter lizard covering the bruises in tears. "Owies…" Then, the little stuffed animal then wondered if this was a good time to escape. However, he soon decided against it since he was still being held by Leugy like a child trying to find comfort in its favorite plaything.

Once Spitz had lashed out all of his frustration, he breathed heavily, something that reminded Pokota of Lina whenever she smacked one of her friends extremely. In fact, he could have been Lina's slightly eviler twin if it weren't for three things: The fact that he was reptilian than humanoid, he was male (though Lina can be confused with the opposite gender at times), and he also had a lisp. His mind soon broke off when the bigger, darker color lizard asked, "So, what are we going to do? Repton is going to kill us when he finds out we mess up again."

Spitz looked over at Hoerk and answered, "Thhut up! I'm thinking." For several minutes, both Raptors sat in thought, trying to figure out a really good excuse so their older brother wouldn't keelhaul them. After all, they were still working off the last punishment for not finding something edible. Unfortunately, they couldn't think of anything due to the sounds of struggling, complaining, and gnawing.

The two quickly glared at Leugy, who was happily chewing on Pokota like a dog with his chew toy. Pokota, on the other hand, was not amused by being used as a teething doll and struggled against the plump lizard's grip. However once Leugy noticed his brother's glares, he stopped. "What? It's nice against my growing teeth."

Both brothers slapped their forehead, amazed by their sibling's innocent stupidity. Although, they were now interested in the stuff animal as well. Unfortunately, they knew that he wasn't going to give it up without a fight. So, they decided to go the nice approach and asked, "Well then, mind if we try him out too?"

Leugy blinked and looked back at Pokota before huddling him closing to his body. He then looked at his brother with the biggest puppy eyes he could manage. "No, you'll rip him." Pokota was somewhat thankful that the pudgy lizard was concern for his well-being (being gnawed over by _one_ lizard was enough for him). Though, he would rather face the Terrible Monster of Grimor Morth than to be a chew toy.

Spitz and Hoerk glared at their brother, before they tackled him to the ground. Afterwards, all three wrestled in a dust cloud over Pokota, who was still trying to get away from the three. However, the way they were fighting and his small size made it difficult to run off. Once the dust cloud cleared, all three raptors were happily chewing on the stuffed animal, who was definitely not happy with the current situation. He wondered how this situation could be any worse.

Speaking of it getting worse, Repton was looking for brothers, wondering how they mess up in capturing "dinner" again. Most likely, they were hiding in the closet again when they realized that their prey was a shape-shifting dragon who disguised herself as some helpless girl. When he arrived at the scene, he knew that it was much worse. His brothers were chewing on their intruder, acting… _cute_. They weren't cute; they were supposed to be evil raiders who terrorized fear in their enemies. He wondered how he could still be related to these buffoons.

Leugy noticed his elder brother's presence and stopped chewing. "Oh, hello, Repton? Do you want to chew too? He may not be meat but he's good for our teeth." Repton's berserk meter went full as his eyes glared red. He needed to teach his brothers a lesson on how _not_to be incompetent buffoons.

"YOU IDIOTSSSSS!"

Repton tackled his brothers and started a one-sided fight with them. The three were being beaten to a pulp as they helplessly tried to get away. Pokota, finally, got away from the fight since no one was after him now. Though he did get some bumps and bruises, he wasn't totally broken. However, he needed to see someone about the mental scars he got from this experience.

'At least Lina wasn't here to make things worse…'

* * *

Author's Notes:

Yes, this is a follow-up to the last chapter. No, I'm not going to follow this up with another. My excuse, I can't think of any other characters to use that could lead to a very funny situation.

Anyway, I decided to let Repton and his brothers go up against Pokota, the new character for the Slayers anime series. Though they didn't actually show them eating, the Raptors also like eating cute, little, defenseless animals. Luckily, Pokota is stuffed, but they didn't know that… Now, that I think about it, there are a lot of unanswered questions about his body, huh?

Also, if you squint a little bit, there's another Slayers character added in there. Yes, I'm still trying to add obscure Storm Hawks/Slayers characters so both fans can enjoy both of what these series have to offer. Hopefully, it's working.

I like to thank Kitten2007 for reviewing. I hope to get some more soon. Meanwhile, I'll try to update some of my other works in the process.

So, is there going to be a Halloween special for this soon… Hopefully, because I have some great ideas for that if I make it by tomorrow.

Please Read and Review!


	12. Hellmaster's Ressurection

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers

_**Hellmaster's Resurrection**_

Cyclonis' body slammed against the stone wall, her voice breaking out from the pain. This wasn't supposed to happen to her. She had followed all the directions, everything that she was told to do in hopes of resurrecting her own empire, and yet this was the result of her hard work, her now nothing more than battered and bruised from the one she had helped.

Ever since her lost to the Storm Hawks and escaping over to the Far Side, the empress had now lost all her man power and resources to take over the Atmos. With no crystals and no endowment to support her Nightcrawlers, she had become weak and desperate to make sure to destroy those who had did this to her. But without the necessary funds to do so, the only thing that she could do was run and hid until something came along. The weeks she had been escaping her pursuers would have been all for naught if it hadn't been for the voice in her head.

"_Help me and I shall give you a reward." _That was all the voice said before Cyclonis saw flashes of what she needed to do. It was like she didn't even have a choice. With the Storm Hawks chasing after her, she followed the visions exactly as she saw them. She gathered the necessary materials, she performed ritual perfectly, and now that she had summoned the one who sent her the visions, she was pleased with what she thought was going to be accomplished. And with that, she made her biggest mistake.

Cyclonis glared over at the Dark Lord who she had summoned as he gave her a wicked smile. Phibrizzo, no, Hellmaster was the appropriate title for him, had been fully resurrected and for his first act, he sent the former empress of Cyclonia into a wall. Now that he was back, there was so much that he had planned for Atmos, especially its destruction. But first, he needed to tie up one loose end before he could go on with his goal.

Glaring at the Mazoku in boy's skin, Cyclonis shouted, "I thought you were going to help me! Did you promise to give me the Atmos?" Her cries, though emotionally correct, were incorrect in accusation. The human mind was so easy to trick, especially when it was ambitious.

"Now, now," Phibrizzo calmly said while wagging his finger, "I don't remember saying that I _give _you Atmos. After all, if I did that, it would be much more complicated for me to destroy it." He then walked over to her, each step a hollow sound. "But you were right; I really do need to give you a reward."

The crystal witch still glared as he materialized a small yellow sphere between his fingers. "I should thank for bringing me back. The years that I had been gone has fueled my intentions of bringing this world to destruction. And with that, I think I'm going to need some help…" The thought of her being a mere servant to this brat (even though he was older than her) made her anger rise beyond comprehension. But what he said next really made her day. "But seeing you like this, all weak and pathetic, wouldn't be very much used to me. So, I think your reward shall be death."

Cyclonis lunged herself at Hellmaster, only for him to disappeared just before the impact. "Don't you get it?" his voice echoed before she looked up to find him sitting on a ledge with the yellow orb in his fingers still, "Death is the only option for you now. You lost your crystals, your army, your terra, and now, you are just a poor pathetic soul being hunted down like a common criminal. Whether it is days, weeks, months, or years, you will be captured and brought back to the Sky Council, broken and humiliated. Then, once their judgment is settled, you shall be put to death for all the crimes you committed. So, you see, either way you will die. My way is much quicker and less degrading to you."

Cyclonis, though still angry that she was betrayed like this, let the truth of the matter sink in slowly. She had been ultimately defeated and now, she was running away like a scared mouse. And deep in her heart she knew that she couldn't go back, not like this. Her pride would never allow it.

Seeing the despair in her eyes, Phibrizzo smirked that he did his job so well. "And now, Cyclonis." He rose up his arm that held the marble in it. "I bid you adieu." Like squeezing a small grape, he crushed the marble in his fingers, the shards scattering before disintegrating into the air. What Phibrizzo loved about this spell the most was how much pain the human would go through before admitting to death.

Cyclonis clenched over her heart, feeling it beating hard like stone. She knew, she knew that this was the end for her as her breathes started to become shorter. Her body had begun to weaken under the immense torture. She collapsed to her knees, still keeping a hand over her heart. She continued with struggle with living until the final chord stuck.

As she began to fall into darkness, her mind reflected on the life she had made. All she ever did was tried to conquer Atmos like her ancestors did before her. During that time, she had made sure to sever all ties with everything she had come in contact with. She had no friends, no family, no one to mourn her if she had died. It would have probably been much worse if she had brought back to Terra Atmosia for trial. So, she concluded that this was the best for her. She was born alone and now, she would die alone.

_**Are you sure you wish for this, Lark?**_

Before she conceded, she heard a voice before noticing a golden woman carrying a shovel smiling at her.

* * *

With Phibrizzo back, he was ready to begin his plans for world destruction. Atmos, no, the entire world was no match for his power. With his tremendous influence and the control over the dead, friends and foe alike were succumbed to his dark wishes. Many were dealt with guilt of killing loved ones who had died in battle and those who had tried to stop his ambitions fell by his hand. No one could stop him as Phibrizzo was death itself. Even with the Storm Hawks trying to stop the chaos he was creating, the future outlook was a despair one.

After one of his campaigns against the mortal, a lone figure watched as many were taken away, supposedly to become fuel for Phibrizzo's power. She stood there before looking down at her hand, wondering if there was really hope to defeat him. After all, he had killed her once and would have controlled her like the others if it wasn't for that woman. So, could she really try to defeat him? Could she make up for her past mistake and destroy it before all hope is lost?

Once contemplating, she smiled before looking up at the sky. 'Yes… After all, I still need rule what is rightfully mine.'

* * *

Author's notes:

You know what my New Year's Resolution is… To update more with arts and stories! … Now, I just need to stick with it for the rest of the year.

Now, this premise for this story has played in my mind for a while. After all, the two are basically on the same spectra of villain. The difference between them (and I ain't talking gender or age) is that while Cyclonis is an evil empress who wishes to take over the world, Hellmaster is a Dark Lord mazoku who wishes to destroy it and will make people suffer physically and psychologically. And that's why everyone is going to have a rough time trying to defeat him.

You guys can also take this as an epic story idea that I didn't have the mindset to do. After all, the story is going to have some depressing moments and dark imagery. I just didn't have the heart to make the readers to go through that along with the characters.

I would also add that I am still writing up the next chapter to _**Uncertain Future**_. If you like that and this one so much, read some of my other works.

Please read and review!


	13. Pink

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Pink**_

Cyclonis hated pink.

To her, pink wasn't a threatening color (although, some people could pull it off). It was preppy, childish, and a goodie-goodie shade of red. She was more along the lines of gothic, preferring darker colors to convey her style of wickedness. So, she knew it was a mistake to ask Filia, the perkiest dragon the world has ever known, to help her find new clothes. She just didn't know it would be this painful.

"And this, and this, and-Oh! Maybe some of these." Cyclonis stood a safe distance as Filia threw a bunch of clothes on the chair next to her. Now, the young empress hated clothes shopping in general, but in this case, she needed some new attire for universal reasons. But instead of heading towards her usual gothic shop, Filia whisked her away to the girlish side of a department store and started to choose clothes that would have made anyone gagged. For Atmos' sake, she needed new clothes, not an entire wardrobe change.

"… Miss Dragon," Cyclonis finally spoke up after standing in silence for several hours, "I know you are trying to be nice, but I think these clothes are not exactly what I'm looking for." Though she had more things she wanted to, many _appalling _things, she had restrained herself in fear of getting lecture on how she should be much _cuter_ than before.

Filia stopped herself from ransacking the entire clothes rack and quickly looked over at Cyclonis. "But Cyclonis!" The dragon held up another pink frilly dress. "These are much nicer than your old ones. In fact, I'm sure you will be so cute when wearing these." The very basis of that statement made Cyclonis twitched with fury. She wasn't trying to look cute. She was trying to be an evil dictator over an empire that lasted as long as the world itself, not a girly teen that is obsessed with boys and dolls.

She took a deep breath before letting go of her frustration. "I know that your tastes are much more… appealing than mine. But I believe that I need clothes that suit my own liking, not yours."

Filia listened, processing what the girl wanted to say. However, the actual meaning past over her head and she just smiled. "Oh, I see." Then, she pulled out another pink dress that was much worse than the last one. "How 'bout this one?" Cyclonis facefaulted to the floor. Now, she was doom.

While the dragon continued to choose out the most irritating clothes to any Goth chick, Cyclonis was trying to figure out a distraction to get out of this mess. It didn't need to be anything spectacular, it just needed to distract Filia long enough to make a getaway. It was then she came up with the most brilliant phrase to every come out of anyone's mouth. In a relaxed fashion, she looked off in a distance and said, "Oh look, Xelloss is taking candy from a baby."

"_**WHERE!**_" With one fell swoop, Filia took out her mace from her garter belt and pointed it in the direction of where the so-called Mazoku was doing his evil deed. But instead of facing the Mazoku, it was a bunch of customers, now shaking with fear. She snapped out of "Kill Xelloss" mood and started to look around in confusion. "What the? Where did you, you creep!" She then noticed the empty seat behind her. "… And where is Cyclonis!"

Cyclonis silently sneaked away, finally freed of that dragon's poor taste of clothing. She can now go to her favorite gothic shop and spend all her money on new dark-colored clothes. Maybe she could get some spiked collars and bracelets for a bonus. She was a yard away from the department store entrance, ready to finally escape this horrid chain store. Unfortunately, she was caught by Filia, who persistently look for the girl thinking that she was lost.

"Cyclonis! You didn't even try the clothes I got for you on!" The dragon began to drag Cyclonis back while the empress tried to get away. "Come on, I'm sure all your friends would love to see you in your new dresses."

"… My friends?" Last time Cyclonis checked, she didn't have any friends. She only had enemies and idiotic subordinates. So, she didn't know what Filia was talking about.

"Why, the people you hang around with of course. And there's Lina, and Amelia, and Oh! Gourry would want to see your dress too." Cyclonis soon paled at what the dragon was planning. There was a boundary between just embarrassing and full grown torture. And after she managed to get done with this little shopping trip, she was bound to pay Filia back tenfold.

* * *

"I wonder why Miss Filia call us all here?" wondered Amelia as she, Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, and the Storm Hawks entered the department store. The dragon was really excited over something but wanted to keep it a surprise. Whatever it was, it must have been something special.

"Whatever it is, it better not be anything doom related," muttered Stork, as he wore his protective suit to keep all the "dangerous" germs out. In Merb Logic, malls and department stores were the housing grounds of a million deadly bacteria. In fact, catching one would lead to a life of endless suffering.

"Well, as long as it's quick. I smell hot dogs with my name on them," Lina said as she rubbed her hands together in a villainous manner. She could smell the food court from where she was now and she planned to eat the entire mall out of its junk food supply.

"Funny, I only smell cheap perfume." Lina soon slapped herself, seeing that Gourry had wandered into the makeup section of the department store. She walked over to the idiot and grabbed him before he could horribly hurt himself. Sometimes, she wondered about his intellect in general.

Everyone else watched sweatdropping at scene. Sometimes, they too wondered what went on in Gourry's mind. They then continued to where Filia said where she wanted to meet them. The group waited for a few moments until they saw something fiendish come their way.

"Cyclonians!" shouted Aerrow as the Storm Hawks took out their weapons in defense. Strangely enough, the Talon commanders that made the teen's lives even more difficult were just a few feet away from them. Although, they also noticed the group too and yet, they didn't take out their weapons.

"… Do you really have to do that every time we're in the same place?" Dark Ace asked while rubbing his templates, "Besides, the dragon called us here too for some reason." Amelia's protest on how their friend had a name went unheard as everyone else was confused by this development.

"That's interesting; you guys would be the last for Filia to call for a favor," Lina replied, causing shock to the three. They felt very insulted because of their bad losing streak lately and how they were known now as incompetent underlings.

The three soon reverted back to normal as Ravess retorted, "Oh really? At least we have class. You are just uncivilized and… _short_ tempered." Lina was quickly restrained by the others, knowing fully well that Ravess made a clever insult at her height. Luckily, she didn't make it one about the sorceress' chest size.

Before any real damage could be done, all the lights in the department store went dark. Confusion spread among people before turning to a spotlight on a stage. Filia was standing on stage, pretty proud of whatever she had done. "Ladies and gentlemen! I bring you… The NEW Cyclonis!"

The curtains opened and revealed something that made everyone's jaws dropped. They wouldn't even believe it themselves if it wasn't right in front of them. Master Cyclonis, the dark child empress of Cyclonia, was wearing pink!

Cyclonis stood there in her pink dress, shaking with embarrassment over what she was wearing. Wearing pink was bad enough, but the dress was design too frilly for another modern taste. The miniskirt/tutu combo was lined with bows while her top had frills going down her front. Her short sleeves were popped out like some fancy princess, while her tights were lined with ribbon. Tying her hair behind was one big pink bow that popped out from behind. Seeing the looks on everyone's faces, she finally said in a deep voice, "Take a picture. It will last longer."

Ignoring the threat, everyone took out their cellphones and started to take pictures of Cyclonis in a pink dress. The empress paled, realizing what she had done. 'Give a threat and they'll take it as a request.' Wanting to tear their limbs up, she came up with a better solution that was less bloody and wouldn't end with her going to jail: Tearing the dress off.

Filia gasped as Cyclonis began to rip off the fabric. "Master Cyclonis! What are you doing?"

"Taking this fashion disaster off! I want my Gothic clothes back!"

"You can't! You haven't even paid for them yet!"

"I don't care! You have poor taste in clothing anyway!"

Filia wrestled with Cyclonis, trying to keep her from destroying the dress, while all the guys (except Finn) tried to avert their eyes from the eyes from the entire scene despite their natural urges. Lina, Amelia, Piper, and Ravess stood out of the way, not wanting to be involved. Piper looked over at Lina and said to her, "Wow, I never seen Cyclonis act like this."

Lina sighed. "Yea, well, if I know something about pink, it is irritating."

* * *

Author's Notes:

I know have other projects to be working on, but this popped up in my mind. Basically, it was about Cyclonis' fashion tastes and someone trying to change it. Personally, I think she skipped that pink phase that goes through most girls' lives.

Poor Filia. I think she might be one of those people that may try to change Cyclonis over to the Light Side, much to Cyclonis' annoyance. Though, she'll probably quit after seeing Cyclonis hang out with Xelloss and the empress being a bad influence to Val. She'll probably try to make Val evil again.

Well, that's it for now! I'll be sure to put up another chapter to one of my other projects!

Please Read and Review!


	14. Raiders and Slayers

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Raiders and Slayers**_

It was a peaceful day on the _Condor_… Or at least it would have been if the alarms didn't start blaring. At the sounds of the sirens, everyone quickly rushed onto the bridge to see what was happening. "What is it, Stork? Talons? Raptors?"

"I was getting to that," Stork answered, a bit annoyed that he was being interrupted with reading his poetry. Pulling down the periscope, he surveyed the outside area before seeing what was causing the alarms to buzz. Afterwards he began to mope as he lifted up the scope. "I should have known. It's Murk Raiders."

There was a few seconds of silence before someone raised their hand. "Excuse me for just one seconds, but what the heck _are_ Murk Raiders?" Lina Inverse, being slightly new to Atmos, didn't know who they were dealing with yet. From what she had gather in the short time since she heard about them, they were some sort of bandit gang, not that it bothered her of course.

Piper looked over at Lina, preparing to give an explanation to what they were dealing with. "Murk Raiders are a band of sky pirates that are known for ravaging an airship of everything, even their crew."

"… So, they're pirates, huh?" the sorceress muttered, having a greedy look in her eye. The Storm Hawks stared at her, sweatdropping as they saw her passion. Bandits or pirates, it didn't matter to her. As long as they had stolen treasure, she would face them with the power to overkill. "Alright! Stork! Fly over to that ship and I'll blast it out of the sky!"

Stork stared at her as if she was insane (much more than before). "Are you crazy! You may not have a hard time against these kinds of people, but there is no way I'm risking the _Condor _from being turn into scrap! So, let's just move away before they even-!" Before Stork could finish, he notice Lina had already gone outside. "… She didn't listen to me, did she?"

Lina's companions, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis, just shrugged it off like it was an everyday thing for them. "At least she keeps things interesting." They soon followed after her to the docking bay, wanting to get on the action too. The Storm Hawks watched them walk out, Stork rubbing his head in irritation.

Finn, seeing his friend's distress, patted his shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry, Stork. If Lina can take care of them, it means less work for us." This didn't seem to lift the merb's mood as he grumbled about it. He didn't know which was worse: Murk Raiders or Lina bragging about how she defeated the most feared pirate gang in Atmos.

* * *

Now on the _Blood Crow_, the sky pirates had already taken notice of an airship near them. For what kind of ship it was, they were just checking on that. But as long as it had supplies, treasure, and crew, they were ready to plunder it. The captain of the ship, Captain Scabulous, sat impatiently in his chair and called to his first mate, "Eyeball! Any report of who is close to our vessel?"

Eyeball, the overweight first mate, was already looking out for the ship. "Almost, captain!" After searching through the clouds, he finally spotted the _Condor_ right by their side. "… Ahhh, it seems to be the Storm Hawks, captain." He sounded disappointed by his find before seeing something of the flight deck. "Oh! But it looks like they got some new crew members!"

"Really? Let me see." Grabbing the telescope, Scabulous looked out and began to examine the people who were out there, beginning with the young-looking red haired one. "Hrmmm… Seems a bit scrawny…" He then watched as she began to yell at her companion. "And bad-tempered." He then looked over at the tall blonde next to her. "He seems to be strong… if a bit stupid." He then turned to another young girl. "Oooh ho ho! There's a cute lassie with them, along with a nice package to match."

"Really, let me see!" Eyeball requested, trying to grab the telescope back from his captain. However, he didn't want to give it up so easily and the two were soon fighting out it. After a while, they both were admiring the girl's… Assets, so to speak.

Grinning from the sight of a beautiful maiden, the two soon looked at the last member, only to be in shock. Despite his overall appearance, he looked familiar, very familiar. Looking over at the captain, Eyeball spoke, "Ummm, do you think…?"

Scabulous didn't have to answer back. He looked back at Eyeball and commanded, "Contact the crew! Tell them to bring out the white flag and ask for a temporary truce with them!"

The first mate went to do so but stopped when he realized something. "Don't ya think the Storm Hawks might find it a little suspicious that we surrender without fighting them first?"

Scabulous growled before slapping his head. "Just do it!" Eyeball didn't say anything more and went to tell the crew of the captain's orders.

* * *

Lina and the others had waited for the Murk Raiders to make a move, looking at the _Blood Crow_ directly (Because something with a skull on the front of it obviously screams pirate). After a while of waiting impatiently, they noticed some movement going on the side of the ship. Using Stork's Peepers, Zelgadis looked in its vicinity to see what it was. "… It looks like they're surrendering."

"Wow, they must have heard about you, Lina," Gourry said in his casual tone. Lina, at the moment, didn't know how to feel about this. She should be glad that she was getting notice in the world. However, the greedy Bandit Killer in her wasn't satisfied in being insulted like this.

"Oh, is that so?" She pretended to act all innocent before reverting to her true personality. "Like hell I should care about that!" Gathering fire in her hand, she positioned herself and yelled, "_Mega-Fireball!_"

Throwing the huge fireball, she and the others watched as it made contact with the ship. Everyone was quite surprise about how much damage the attack spell did to its side, scorching a good chuck on it. Lina smirked at her handy work, despite the shock faces that were present, Amelia's especially. "Miss Lina! How could you do such a villainous act! They were surrendering."

Lina looked to Amelia and answered, "Yea, well, they're still pirates. Besides, them surrendering might have been some pirate trick anyway." The princess nodded, knowing that it would be somewhat true. They _did_ surrender without attacking first. Of course, there could be a number of justified reasons to do so, which was the big question here.

A second later, Zelgadis spoke up after keeping a close eye on the ship, "It doesn't matter now. Looks like they're beginning to attack us." Indeed, cannon fire was heard as blasts were seen heading towards the _Condor_. Everyone quickly hang on as the ship went to dodge the shots. Lina, on the other hand, immediately cast a levitation spell and was flying over to the _Blood Crow_. Now, this was getting interesting.

"Okay! If you're getting serious…" She flew at a close range before throwing various spells at the pirate airship. Using the air currents, she weaved through the barrage of shots while making sure not to waste her power so she didn't fall. After a while of nearly destroying one of it, a voice shouted among the racket.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, MISSY!" Lina stopped for a second, before looking at the source which was apparently the strangest (if not ugliest) humanoid she had seen. "Why are you attacking my ship! We don't want to pillage the _Condor _right now!"

The sorceress blinked in confusion before glaring at the pirate. "Yea right, you cyclops!" While she and Scabulous began to get busy by yelling insults at each other, the Storm Hawks quickly headed to the flight deck to check on Lina's team.

"Hey, are you alright?" Aerrow asked as he watched them get up. Even though he was glad that Stork did evasive maneuvers to dodge cannon fire, they had forgotten that others were outside and one of them didn't have the magic to save himself. Of course, he was glad to see them all there.

"We're fine, Aerrow," Amelia replied as she and the others got up, "However, Miss Lina went off to fight the Murk Raiders by themselves. So, I don't know if she's okay or not."

Piper grabbed the Peepers next to Zelgadis and began to review the battle. "By the looks of things, she did a number of their ship." After looking through the damage, she noticed Lina and Scabulous yelling at each other. "Okay, I see her. It looks like she's talking to Captain Scabulous." Suddenly, a loud blast was heard as more smoke began to emit from the ship. "… And I think he made a comment about her chest."

"… Maybe we should help her," Junko suggested, a bit worried that Lina could be in over her head. It didn't take long for everyone to agree as they quickly headed back inside to secure their rides. They didn't doubt Lina's abilities to make big explosions. However, they had a feeling that she would be in trouble if she had gotten onto the airship itself.

* * *

A moment later, Lina had finally made it inside the _Blood Crow_, slapping her hands in pride. "Well, now that I'm here, I should grab stuff before this thing heads down… And maybe get back at the jerk for calling me flat-chested." She began to search for the treasure room though it was short-lived. Before she could walk out of the room she was in, she saw what she consider the most horrifying thing in existence.

"GYAAAAAAAAA!"

It took a while for both the Murk Raiders, the Storm Hawks with Junko having tissues in his nose, and her friends to come to Lina's rescue. Quickly, she hid behind Gourry while staring at the creature with a fearful expression. Now, it was strange to see her like since she seemed so active before. However, they didn't know that one of Lina's biggest fears was slugs, especially giant slug-like monsters.

"S-s-slimy creep… Go away!" Lina yelled from behind Gourry. The Slug monster, though very scary looking, seemed upset by her ranting and began to cry. It wasn't slimy. It was his natural look.

Eyeball looked over at Lina and said, "Hey, Gromie is a very rare Dusky Slug. Their skin is used to make a very good, low fat butter substitute." Those who weren't used to that kind of butter simply made a face of disgust. They didn't need to know that. Besides, it wasn't helping Lina's fear of slugs or slug monsters.

"I don't care! Just keep it away from me!" After minutes of relocating themselves that was away from the slug, everyone soon found themselves in a much bigger, more appropriate room where they could have their epic battle. Lina, now back to her normal self, cracked her knuckles and smirked. "Now, that's out of the way, time for us to get this on."

Now, everyone was expecting the Murk Raiders to fight since that's what they normally do. However, this time was different as their leader made his way over to the group, more specifically over to Zelgadis. Once in front of the chimera, he put his hands on his shoulders and smiled. "Ah, so it is you, isn't it, Zelly-boy?"

Zelgadis was extremely confused by this but remained relax if not a tad nervous. "… Do I know you?"

Scabulous chuckled before he explained, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Captain Scabulous. Me and the boys are a friend of your grandfather, Rezo." Everyone snapped up at Rezo's name. Of all the strange things that had happened involving the man, this was probably the strangest thing they encounter. And it was going to get stranger still. "Not only that, you can consider me your godfather."

"My godfather…?" Zelgadis murmured at the idea, before exclaiming it in shock, "MY GODFATHER!" Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and the Storm Hawks went into shock upon hearing that. Even though Rezo the Red Priest did do things that many had consider helpful for people and the magic community, he did have his own twisted sense of humor to his devices. However other than turning him into a chimera, Zelgadis considered this to be one of the worse things his grandfather ever done to him.

"I can't believe someone from your world has been here before," Aerrow commented.

"I can't believe Rezo made him to be Zel's godfather," Lina commented too while placing a hand on her forehead.

"I can't believe this isn't butter," Gourry said as he ate the Dusky Slug Butter substitute. Lina soon punched him for making such a bad joke.

* * *

Author's Notes:

YARGH! Happy Pirates' Day, peeps! To celebrate, I decided to upload this new crossover oneshot/drabble to celebrate one of my favorite pirates, the Murk Raiders. Despite them being only used a couple of times throughout the Storm Hawks, I really like these guys as some sort of Chaotic Neutral to the black and white setting the series is set in.

Now, to explain the ending to this, I had some sort of idea of Captain Scabulous being a parental unit to Zelgadis. Now everyone who knows the Slayers series can say that he has plenty of those with his own band with Rodimus and Zolf. My argument for this is that Captain Scabulous is a parental figure that is alive and would be able to act with Amelia while they didn't. Also, this may be my own head speaking but wouldn't it be fun for Scabulous hanging out around Zelgadis… I'll shut up now.

I do not own the "I can't believe this isn't butter" line or the entire joke. They belong to their own creators. I do own the Dusky Slug despite Lina not wanting it to be in this fic.

I would also like to add that there will be a part two to this that I hope to write soon.

Please Read and Review!


	15. Luna's Visit

Disclaimers: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**Luna's Visit**_

It was a peaceful day in Atmos and everyone was enjoying it.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

… Scratch that. Someone was not enjoying this day.

Lina's screams echoed throughout the _Condor_ as she entered the bridge where everyone was gathered. When they turned to notice her, they saw that she was extremely scared, beyond the lines of being absolutely terrified. Her hair was in a mess by how much she had been running and her twitchiness seemed to rival Stork's own paranoid twitch. The expression she was showing was one of dread, an emotion that the sorceress didn't even display at all.

"Gotta hide. Gotta hide. Can't let her find me." The Storm Hawks watched as Lina tried to find a hiding spot that was big enough for her. Now, they knew that she was as fearless and confident in any situation. So, seeing her like this was making them worried a lot. Conversely, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia had a slight idea of what could be bothering Lina. But they didn't want to confirm the situation until she said it first.

Aerrow was concerned about her change in attitude so he walked up to Lina and asked, "Lina, is something wrong?" She was in the middle of rummaging through the crates, not even noticing that the young sky knight was right behind her.

"She's coming. She's coming. Gotta hide before she finds me."

He listened to her alarmed rants, getting a slight idea about what was going on. "Wait, _who's_ coming?" At the moment he asked that, the sorceress got up and began to shake him like mad, much to the others' surprise.

"My older sister, damn it!" she shouted loud enough for the whole world to hear, "I recently got a message saying that she has found out where I am and is coming here to see me! She's probably going to punish me for all the bad things I've done!"

There was dead silence in the room as everyone stared at her momentarily. For as long they had known her, the Storm Hawks really didn't know much about her past. So, this came across as big shock for the group.

"You have a sister?!"

"Is she hot?" Finn asked before getting elbowed by Piper. He rubbed his sides, a bit annoyed that he would get hit over something like that. It was a legitimate question (well, at least to him).

"Well, we don't know much about Lina's sister either," Zelgadis spoke up, thinking that someone should give the kids some clarification to Lina's sudden change of character, "The only things we know about her is that she is a part-time waitress, a Knight of Ceiphied, and Lina gets scared out of her wits whenever she hears her mentioned."

The Storm Hawks listened before looking over at Lina, who was now building a little fort for herself to hide in. "And she's going to kill me when she finds out all the bad things I did!" They sweatdropped intensely, now thinking that she may have been taking this too far. Besides, wasn't Ceiphied a benevolent deity in their world? If her sister was a knight under the Order of Ceiphied (they were thinking that a Knight of Ceiphied was just a regular knight that follows duties under Ceiphied), then surely she wasn't that bad… Or Lina's over-destructive magic and short tempered had cause her to be a wanted criminal on her world.

"As much as I would enjoy seeing Lina like this," Stork said after remaining silent through her breakdown session, "But I don't think her sister will have an easy time getting here. I recently install a new security system and if anyone tries to set one foot on the _Condor_, they would be most likely incinerated, even her."

At that moment, Lina stopped building her hiding fort and looked at the merb with disbelief. "… Really?" Now she knew her older sister very well, and she knew that a few measly traps weren't going to stop her once she set her mind to something. But she also knew Stork in the short time they had spent together and she knew that he would come up with ways to combat any danger, whether it be monster or natural disaster, and live.

He nodded and as if on cue, the sounds of a skimmer coming their way sounded which was followed by the intruder alarm sounding. The merb grinned maniacally as he rubbed his hands together. "Now, we just wait until the intruder surren-!"

Before he could finish, sounds of traps being sprung were heard throughout the ship. This could have been a good thing. However, it was soon followed by the sounds of metal being slashed and shredded, along with wolf howls. The final echo of something being broken, possible a pipe, had everyone worried. They were not dealing with any normal intruder.

Feeling that sense of dread coming back, Lina screamed before ducking behind her fort, "DON'T LET HER FIND ME!" Everyone else in the room quickly assembled themselves, standing at the entrances of the bridge. They weren't entirely sure if the person attacking was Lina's sister. However, the one thing that they did know was that he, she, or it was very powerful.

It was a few seconds later that the middle door shot open, causing everyone to rush right in front of it. But instead of a big scary-looking invader, it was a young woman wearing strange clothes that were similar to those from the Red World. With her, there was a big green wolf-like creature that seemed to have a human-like quality to his expression. Of course, it didn't help that he was snarling at the group in fear of attacking his owner.

Staring at them, the woman stated, "Sheesh, if this is how you greet visitors, I would hate to see what you do with your enemies." She entered the room with her wolf companion before sitting in one of the Storm Hawks' chairs. "Anyway, I'm guessing you're friends with Lina, right? I'm Luna Inverse and I'm currently looking for her."

The Storm Hawks, Amelia, and Zelgadis had their jaws dropped when she uttered those words (Gourry just silently stared at the green wolf for some unknown reason). She was Lina's sister?! Other than the similar hair color (though Luna's was a little darker), they had no other likenesses to make them think that they were sisters. Of course, that did mean that they could be blood relatives too.

After a couple minutes of awkward silence, Piper decided to approach their new guest and properly greet her. "It's a real honor to meet you, Lady Luna. Even though we haven't heard about you until now, it is delightful to meet a sister of Lina's and a Ceiphied knight at that."

Luna looked over at Piper with an unimpressed expression on her face. "… I'm guessing that you must be the overly smart yet highly misguided Piper, right?" She leaned back in her chair while stretching her arms. "Nice to meet you too, I guess." Piper grimaced as she listened to the scarlet-haired woman. Why did she feel like she had just been insulted?

She didn't have time to dwell on it though as Finn went to greet her next. "Hi! I'm Finn! You know, you're actually gorgeous for someone who's related to Lina." Piper wanted to slap her head for the way her team mate was talking to their guest. Of course, it did help her ease her aggravation when she heard the massive pile of boxes groan.

Luna gave a curious look at Finn, almost concentrating on him before smiling. "Ah, the sharpshooter who thinks he's Casanova." She then leaned close, putting her head on her fist. "You know, you seem pretty decent… But I think Spot considers otherwise." The wolf creature snarled at the sharpshooter, causing him to snap out of his affectionate mood and into fear mode. Seeing his fear, the creature relaxed with an amused smirk on his face.

Luna also gave a smile before turning her attention to Junko and Stork. "You must be the wallop with the self-esteem issues… And the one who has been giving me the evil eye is Stork." Junko blushed with timidity, surprise to hear something like that from someone who he had never met before. Stork, on the other hand, remained silent as he glared at the guest.

"I think these are yours." After a second, she tossed over a bunch of metal parts towards the merb who caught them with ease. He stared at them for a quick second before going into depression. Six weeks of working on defensive procedures for nothing.

She smirked before turning her attention to Radarr who was also suspicious of her presence. "And this little guy must be Radarr." She glanced over at her wolf companion and asked, "Why don't you two go play?" The wolf looked up at her annoyed as if he didn't want to. However, a quick stern look from Luna changed his mind and he quickly walked over to blue creature, who in turn stared at his approaching form.

As both Radarr and the wolf went to get better acquainted, Gourry still couldn't help but feel something familiar about Luna's companion. "You know… I feel like I have met him before."

"I know what you mean, Gourry." Zelgadis also had a suspicious feeling about the wolf too, but his suspicions were much more established than his companion. Amelia, on the other hand, thought it looked like an ordinary wolf (except for the green fur).

As soon as she heard them speaking, Luna looked over at them and spoke, "And I guess you three are Lina's regular companions: the dense swordsman, the angsty chimera, and the clumsy princess." Both Zelgadis and Amelia facefaulted while Gourry scratched his head over her comments. They didn't know where she was getting these humiliating but almost spot on titles. But if it was from Lina, they had a thing or two to say about that.

"And that leaves the young sky knight, Aerrow." The young woman soon looked at the last person she was to address who in turn stared back at her. Her amusement laid in how someone such as him who had saved his world numerous times was still not acknowledged because of his age. After all, her sister was not that much older than her and she did some pretty incredible things too. Of course, she wasn't going to let her know anytime soon.

"… Yea, that's me," Aerrow finally spoke, keeping up his stern appearance that he had on when Luna enter, "Just out of curiosity, where exactly did you hear about us?" In truth, he didn't like that she had completely mocked every one of his teammates, even if it was sort of accurate. Just because she was a celebrated hero on her world didn't give her the right to talk down to them.

Luna didn't seem to be bothered by the boy's serious look and replied, "Just around, usually from people who have heard rumors about my sister. Of course, it _would_ help if she wrote more often instead of once every three months or so." At her own mention of her sister, she started to casually look around. "Speaking of which, where is Lina?"

Before Aerrow could answer, Stork covered his mouth in hindsight of him answering truthfully. "She's not here. She went out to hunt Sky Pirates." After hearing her destroy his safety precautions, the merb did not take too kindly to her presence. He hoped that she would believe her and leave as to not get a chance to wreck his ship.

"I see…" Luna seemed to be indifferent towards the shaking boxes that were clearly visible to everyone else in the room. Of course, she would have to be deaf not to hear the whimpers of fear coming from it. "In that case, she's going to miss out on the Dragon Cuisine I got for her. I guess I should give it to you guys then."

"NO! My Dragon Cuisine!"

Lina, being blinded by the thought of a free high-priced meal, popped out of her hiding place very quickly. Of course, she soon noticed that it was a trap as Luna waved at her like a sly person. The people who she was traveling with stared at her in shock and she soon realized that she was dead meat… _Very_ dead meat.

Before Lina could make it out of the room and towards the nearest safe house, Luna grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. "Hey, Lina. It's nice to see you again. It's been a long time since you left home, hasn't it?"

Lina gave a small if not shaky nod at Luna, trying her best not so fear. "Y-yea, it has been." Snapping herself back into her tough, gung ho self, she said, "So, how have you guys doing? Is mom and dad okay?"

"Oh, they're good for the most part," Luna answered, before becoming serious, "But as for you, I heard that you're becoming a very bad girl."

Lina gulped as her sister continued with her lecture. "From what I have heard, you've been causing a lot of trouble around here. And you know what happens when you cause trouble, right?" The others listened in, worried about how Luna was taking this. After all, Lina had reasons for doing those things… Maybe not very good reasons, but they were still reasons.

"You know if you cause trouble, I have to put you in line." It was evident that the sorceress was now scared beyond all reason of her sister now, especially when she saw her cracking her knuckles. With an evil smile, she leaned towards her with a fierce aura around her. At that moment, Lina prayed that she would make it out of this alive as Luna grabbed her shirt and started to drag her. "Would you excuse us for a moment?"

"WAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Lina tried to make a break for it, but it was inevitable due to her sister's strong grip. The others watched the two exited out of the room and into the hallway where it was quiet… Too quiet. The silence was then soon followed by screams of pain and various other sounds that were indescribable to the group. But that still didn't stop them from imagining the horrors that were befalling their friend.

Zelgadis, trying to be collective in this type of situation, spoke, "It can't be that bad." To everyone else, they tried to agree with a sound mind. But of course, the imagined horror of what was happening to her scared them too. It was hard not to visualize the intensity of Luna's punishment.

And as if by fate wishing for comedy relief, a bunch of Cyclonian grunts entered onto the bridge a few moments later. At first, they were wondering why the merb's alarm system didn't go off when they boarded. But soon, they didn't care because this meant a perfect ambush for them. "Alright! Surrender your arms and-!"

Their epic entrance was soon ceased by them realizing that their enemy was paying more attention to a door than them. "… Ummm, what's going on?"

Finally noticing the Talons by one of them asking, the group turned to them while sweatdropping. "Lina is being punish by her sister." Aerrow was hesitant in giving his answer since he didn't even believe it himself. It just seemed like a scene from one of those sappy dark soap operas.

"Oh…" The Talons seemed pretty calm before something popped up in their heads. "Wait! She has a sister?!"

The others nodded as Stork elaborated, "And apparently, she's afraid of her." The grunts blinked before turning their full attention towards the door and Lina's screams. Like the Storm Hawks and their guests, they didn't know what to make of it. Listening to whatever was happening had scared them into silence for the most part.

After a few seconds of not speaking, one of them asked, "Do you mind if we used your radio? We want to contact the rest of the Cyclonian army as soon as possible." Everyone in the room quickly glared at them, knowing that they were probably going to play a trick.

"You better not call for reinforcement," Zelgadis said as he glared at them. Just because Lina was out of commission didn't mean that the rest were going to take a fight lying down.

"Are you kiddin'!" one of the Talons replied back, "We were just going to tell them that Lina Inverse has a sister! They're going to flip when they tell them she's way scarier than her!" Right after he said that, the others stood there silent, watching as the grunts went over to the radio and began to contact their comrades. Even though they didn't actually give permission, it didn't matter now. A lot had happen and it was painful to even think about it further.

* * *

Throughout the Atmos, the news of Lina having a sister was spreading within Talon ranks and soon to everyone else in the world. Every sky knight, thief, pirate, prisoner, and various other persons had now knowledge about Lina's sibling (and upon hearing what was happening, they very scared too). It had even reached the highest levels of Cyclonia nobility up to the empress herself. Once hearing this interesting report, Cyclonis found new appreciation for being an only child. But then, she demanded that there should be triple guards at every post in case this so-called sister decided to visit.

Meanwhile back on the _Condor_, Luna settled herself in and Lina was in a short-term coma from the punishment. Stork, for the moment, was rewriting his _"Dangers and How to Combat Them" _list. He finally found a way to counter Lina in case his slug strategy didn't work. Now, he just needed to find a counter for Luna.

* * *

Author's Notes:

I'm not dead! I'm still trying to focus on writing!

Anyway, I wanted to do a Murk Raider follow-up to the last one. However, I soon got an interest into Luna thanks to djwagLmuffin on DA (read her comics, she's awesome). So, I decided to write what would happen if Luna visited her sister in Atmos. I don't consider it to be my best work in this drabble series, but it's pretty good.

The problem was making out Luna's character since the only thing I know about Luna in canon is that she is Lina's big sister, she is a Knight of Cepheid and she scares Lina a lot. The rest can come from djwagLmuffin since her interpretation of Luna is the best thus far. However, it kinda counteracted with how I wanted to story to go. Hopefully after I did a heavy revision of it, you guys like it.

Anyway, thank you AceStarKnight for favoriting and story-alerting this. I hope you like this!

Please Read and Review!


	16. Disturbing Relations

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers

_**Disturbing Relations**_

"Alright, Cyclonis. What's this all about?"

Zelgadis clenched his sword handle as he stood in front of a relaxed Cyclonis. For some odd reason or another, she had sent a letter to him in request of his immediate presence. He went with caution, knowing from his experience how these things went. If this was a request to do something bad in exchange for his cure, he would demand the cure first and test it on his skin before agreeing to do whatever she had planned. After all, it wasn't the first time he had done this.

The young empress looked up at his glowering face before saying, "Relax, Zelgadis. Why don't you sit down and have a drink?" Zelgadis was skeptic at first at first, but he soon found himself sitting down and drinking coffee. It was strange how she wanted to meet him personally and in a café of all things. Maybe she had anticipated that if she was going to be threatened, she was going to have witnesses.

"So, do you wonder why I ask to meet with you?" The chimera remained silent as he drank his coffee. "… Well, I recently come across something that surprisingly deals with you as much as it does me."

Zelgadis set his coffee down and looked over at her. "So, I'm guessing this is not some fiendish plan where you turn me into a berserk monster or something."

"Quite the contrary; it's more of an interesting discovery." Cyclonis then pulled out an old journal and placed it on the table. As Zelgadis went back to drinking, she opened it up and began reading from a certain page.

"_After securing another terra, I find myself coming to the realization of my mortality and the need to produce an heir. Unfortunately, I have not found my equal, my one who would surely produce a powerful successor to my empress. That is until my guards found a trespasser in the grand library. I didn't know why he was there since I can't imagine a blind person reading. But his aura when he apologized for the intrusion had… intrigued me._"

Zelgadis listened in but continued to drink his coffee. Cyclonis, seeing his disinterest, spoke up, "The blind man's name was Rezo." He nearly coughed up his drink when she spoke. She surely didn't mean _that _Rezo, right? Seeing the chimera's expression, she continued to read from where she had left off.

"_His incomprehensible power and enthralling personality attracted me like a butterfly to a flower. I don't care about his so-called status; I must have him bear me an heir! Unfortunately, he had been seemingly unaware of my advances. So, tonight, I plan on locking the two of us in my private chambers until he submits. I shall enjoy his body as we-_"

Cyclonis quickly shut the book with her face turning red. "I think you can pretty much guess what happens afterwards."

Zelgadis had the same darken shade on his face, trying to come up with a perfectly good reason for all of this. After all, it couldn't have been the actual Rezo. It may have been someone with the same name as him or a copycat that was inspire by him, or even a clone. But after rethinking what he had heard, it was certain that it was the Red-Robed priest himself.

After getting the disturbing mental picture of Rezo and an Elder Master Cyclonis out of his mind, he looked over at the present Cyclonis and asked, "Okay, what does it have to do with me?"

Cyclonis took a moment to compose herself. "Nine months later, she gave birth to my father, who would later have me. If what my grandmother wrote in this is true, then not only would my Grandfather be Rezo but that would make us half-cousins." Zelgadis almost choked again, but he managed to finish up his coffee. "Also, in accordance to the law, that would make you a potential successor since we share blood on your Great Grandfather's side. Granted, he wasn't the ruler of Cyclonia or anything. But still…"

Zelgadis could see where this was going. "Look, Cyclonis," He slammed his hand on the table. "I have no interesting in taking over your position. In fact, I doubt your loyal subject will like seeing a heartless mystical swordsman running things. Given that and the fact that I have other things to do, you have nothing to worry about."

Cyclonis gave him an icy stare, one that would almost match his. He soon noticed a smirk formed as she relaxed in her chair. "Alright, I'll buy it." Zelgadis sighed, thanking that she was at least a bit understanding. That was until she said, "Oh, and do you mind standing on that big red X over there?"

Zelgadis glanced over to see the X on the ground and above it, a big piano that was being held up by three Talons. He then looked back at the empress with a sweatdrop forming. She simply went to drinking her tea.

* * *

_In the Afterlife~_

"MINE!"

The ghost of Rezo watched as Zelgadis' grandmother, Grandma Cyclonis, and Eris duked it out. As he watched, he worried that this might be unhealthy for him.

* * *

Author's Notes:

Hi, peeps! Sorry for not updating for such a long time. Been getting back into the writing grove and all. I think my writing class helped with that. Hopefully, I can keep this up and get back to my other projects.

Anyway, this particular piece has been on my mind for quite some time. Given, I think it's fan theory that Rezo is a womanizer. But still, I imagined the previous Cyclonis locking both her and Rezo in a room together after meeting him… The rest is not pretty.

This also means that Zelgadis is related to Cyclonis, thus making him a threat to her position. Granted, he would probably not try to usurp her, but that's not going to stop her from trying to off him out of the picture. I think he should stick with it. There's many benefits to being a ruler of an evil empire.

So, Please Read and Review!


	17. You Did WHAT

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks or Slayers.

_**You Did WHAT?!**_

If she had known that _he _was there, she would have never landed there. If she had sensed his presence and not up until the last second, she wouldn't have been in this mess. Instead, the creep popped up at the most inopportune time and made some ill-chosen comments about her way of hiding. She decided to respond in kind by chasing after him while waving her mace around. Now, Filia was trapped in what seemed to be a storage room with the infamous Mazoku, Xelloss…

"You do know that I might be going to kill you two once we get out of here, right?"

Oh, and a young empress of the place they were at. Although Filia could tell that she was definitely human (unlike somebody she knew), she wished that the girl would dress up in something that didn't make her seem, well, evil. She couldn't find a better word and maybe she didn't even want to. This Master Cyclonis person seems to be one of those that despise people in general. And thinking like that, Filia felt that this was going to be worse than when she transformed in front of the Raptors.

That still didn't change the fact that she was trapped in here and with _him_ of all people. Knowing Xelloss, he was going to turn this situation into something that would benefit him. Maybe trying to shay this misguided girl over to the dark side (if she hadn't already). Like she was going to let that happen on her watch! Standing up, Filia said, "Don't worry, miss! I'm sure that we'll get out of here soon."

"I highly doubt that," Cyclonis replied, "The door is reinforced so it can't be broken down and no one will hear us if we yell… And I feel that no one would mind me missing."

Xelloss looked over at her and waved his finger. "You shouldn't say that, Master Cyclonis. They'll definitely look for you once they realize you have the keys to your secret safe."

Filia glared at Xelloss, silently wishing he would just leave them alone. He certainly wasn't making the situation any better. Of course, it was meaningless to argue and she knew that very well. Standing out, she headed over to the door while taking her mace out. She then began to slam it against the door. After a few good slams, she took a break. But unfortunately, it was still standing.

"I told you it was reinforced," Cyclonis spoke up after watching Filia tried to beat the door down, "But I guess you would go with the more primitive approach, huh."

Filia quickly looked over at Cyclonis, her tail sticking out. "What does that supposed to mean!"

The young empress, despite staring at the face of a mad dragon, remained as calm as usual. "For starters, I saw you chased after a being whose body is not in a physical plane with a mace. It would be much more effective to use spell or crystal attacks than a primeval weapon."

"Ahhh, but I like Filia's primeval weapon," Xelloss cooed in response. This only made Filia angrier since not only was she insulted, but he was joining in on it too. At the very which, an idea popped into her head. It was something she was going to regret but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Xelloss!" The yelling of his name quickly got his attention as he turned to Filia. "You can teleport out of here! You can find someone and tell them that we're trap in here!"

The Mazoku seemed to ponder this for a moment before finally, he answered, "I'm afraid that would be irresponsible for me to leave you two by yourselves." Filia's eyebrow twitched as she resisted the urge to pummel him into mush. He picked the wrong time to be concern about her safety.

Upon hearing Xelloss' answer, Cyclonis scoffed, "Like I would do anything to hurt your darling dragon." Both Xelloss and Filia jerked up, surprising that the empress would take their relation like that. And while he chuckled hesitantly, she waved her hands in a denial fashion.

"W-wait a minute! I'm not- He's not- We're not like that!" Filia blushed madly, not liking the idea of him and her together. Even during the past when Lina and the others teased her about it, the very thought of the two of them as a couple disgusted her… Yet, she slightly found it a bit pleasing as well.

Cyclonis wasn't convinced by her answer and decided to administer a series of questions. "You two know each other for a long time, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you have fantasies about him?"

"Oh, yes." Filia smirked at the fantasies she had about her finally giving Xelloss what was coming to him.

"Are these fantasies full of risqué pleasure?"

"Well, ther-! THAT'S NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!" Filia was bright red, wondering where Cyclonis would even get such an idea. She looked no more than Lina's age when she first met her, and this girl was already asking such a question.

"Now, now, Master Cyclonis," Xelloss spoke up while wagging his finger, "It's not polite to ask someone about what they think about. Besides, I know her fantasies are a mixture of hurting me _and_ possible risqué pleasure." He then ducked from a punch from a frustrated dragon.

"Yours too, cockroach." As both Xelloss and Filia were locked in epic combat (Which consisted of Filia trying to hit him), Cyclonis sat and thought about the situation she was in. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how stupid it was. After all, she was trapped with a childish Mazoku and a dragon with anger issues. And one of them alone is worse than all her commanders put together (but only by a small margin).

"You know, I probably wouldn't be in here if you hadn't mess with my stuff." Hearing the young girl's words, Filia paused in her attacks. Now that she thought about it, Cyclonis did chase both her and Xelloss into this room once catching sight of them. And since she had just met her recently, it was clear who she was trying to chase.

"Xelloss…" Filia slowly turned back to the considerable guilty party, "Did you cause trouble here before?"

Xelloss smiled hesitantly before replying, "Well, I wouldn't call it trouble per say. I found it to be no big deal."

"No big deal…" Cyclonis twitched at his answer. "You may me lose all my hard work for the past several days. Not to mention I needed therapy after seeing that."

"Really? You didn't seem to look like you needed it when throwing me out the window."

"I would ask you if you have any shame, but I guess Mazokus don't know the meaning of the word shame."

"Excuse me!" Filia interrupted their friendly banter, "But what did Xelloss do?!" If it was like any of the pranks that Xelloss pulled at her shop, it was probably something that caused an exquisite damage fees.

There was silence for a few seconds before Cyclonis answered, "He took my clothes." Filia's eyebrow twitched a second afterwards.

"What?"

"You heard me; he took my clothes and played dress-up with them." An awkward silence followed as Filia let that sink in. She then slowly turned her head back to Xelloss with a death-inflicting glare.

"Let me get this straight," she began in a low, yet scary tone, "We're trapped in here because _you_ raided a woman's WARDROBE?!" Xelloss sweatdropped, tasting the fiery rage the dragon was building. If there was one thing that any man should know, it was that they should never play with a woman's dress (unless the woman makes them). Of course, the final nail came from Cyclonis as she stared at the fuming dragon.

"Oh, I doubt your primitive methods would suffice for his punishment."

A talon grunt was walking past the storage room, whistling a happy tone until he was almost run over by a mad dragon chasing after a man that can fly without crystals. The first thing he thought after the "Oh my god, I almost die!" thought, was why there was a mad dragon chasing after a flying man. He then heard a cough to see Cyclonis sitting in the rumble, surprising alive.

"Well, that was interesting," she said as she stood up and brush herself off. After which, she looked over at the talon. "So, anything happened while I was trapped?"

The talon straightened up once hearing her question. "Well, we have an intruder who I think is invading your position." Cyclonis twitched but remained calm.

"Have you tried to remove them from the premise?" He hesitantly chuckled before pointing over to the side. There, she saw the most horrifying thing in history. A bunch of her soldiers were listening to a half-naked woman preaching about some new age nonsense… And buying it.

"All hail Zoamelgustar!"

Her stone-cold stare said it all. Slowly, she started to walk away saying, "Stay here. I'm going to take care of this." The talon remained there, afraid of what would happen. One thing was for sure: Cyclonis was definitely one who knew how to work out her temper.

* * *

Author's Notes:

This idea actually came from a picture a friend drew for an art trade… I should have finished it sooner.

So, Xelloss, Filia, and Cyclonis are trapped in a room together. I know there's one good ending punch line to this, but this is the best I could come up with. I think it's pretty good. I end with Cyclonis going to beat up Martina and knowing her, the aftermath won't be a pretty sight to watch.

Hope you guys like it!

Please Read and Review!


End file.
